


Strap On

by MBL2307



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Real World, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Caring Alec Lightwood, Confident Alec Lightwood, Experienced Alec Lightwood, First Time, Gay Sex, Homophobic Language, Hurt Magnus Bane, I'm Bad At Tagging, Insecure Magnus Bane, Jealous Alec Lightwood, M/M, Oral Sex, Possessive Alec Lightwood, Possessive Sex, Protective Alec Lightwood, Self Confidence Issues, Shy Magnus Bane, Smut, Trans Magnus Bane, Transitioning, Transphobia, Vaginal Sex, but not a lot of smut, marking kink, moaning kink, transphobic language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:28:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23478511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MBL2307/pseuds/MBL2307
Summary: Magnus is in love with his best friend and roommate, Alec - the gorgeous star football player.Magnus doesn't believe that Alec could ever love him back, because... well, Alec is gay and he is trans.But even Magnus' twisted thinking can't come in the way of true love (and Alec's stubbornness), right?A series of one-shots of moments through out Malec's relationship.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 98
Kudos: 401





	1. gorgeous men with real dicks

**Author's Note:**

> so... hello, me again!  
> this quarantine really got my Malec juices flowing!  
> I was actually working on a different chartered fic I'm writing, when this idea came along and just wouldn't leave until I let it out... so, here it is.
> 
> it did come out way longer than I expected, so I will separate it into three chapters, and post them all in the next couple of days.
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE: before we start though, it is important for me to address the fact that I wrote about subjects that are sensitive and I know can be hard for some people. I am not trans, but I have read up a lot about it, and tried to represent it as best I could, with no ill intention, so hopefully I don't offend anyone, because this was written with a lot of care and I really hope I did it justice.
> 
> so I really hope you all enjoy this!

Magnus is pacing back and forth outside his and Alec’s dorm room, taking deep breaths and trying to muster up the courage to actually go inside. When he first arrived at the dorms building, he was so determined, after a serious pep talk from Cat and Ragnor, he almost barged right in without thinking. But just as his hand hit the cold door handle, his self deprecating tendencies kicked in, spurring on the second guessing, and doubts.

So he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then another one, forcing himself to think positive thoughts, like, how the day before Alec crossed the whole campus just to bring him his reading glasses, that Magnus hadn’t even noticed he forgot. Or how last weekend he didn’t go out with his friends so he could help Magnus study for his test, and Alec  _ never, ever  _ missed an opportunity to go out, let alone get laid (which he would have, had he gone out). What about just this morning, Alec got up super early (and let me tell ya, Alec is NOT a morning person) so he could get Magnus his vanilla latte and a cronut before his exam.

In addition, there were also all the flirty hugs, and kisses on his cheeks and forehead, the little gentle touches and soft glances (that have all become more frequent lately). But even thinking about those things didn’t end up helping, because Alec was a flirty person, he flirted with everyone, right? What if Magnus was reading too much into it and turning it into something that it isn’t? He could make a huge fool of himself and ruin their great friendship, not to mention, it would make things super awkward because they were roommates.

With that thought, Magnus turned to leave, because he couldn’t possibly risk losing Alec and humiliating himself. But then just as he was about to round the corner, he thought about how Alec was always so protective over him, and always chose him over anyone else, even one night stands with gorgeous men. If Magnus ever needed him, Alec was there. That, and Magnus really had nowhere else he needed or wanted to go.

So Magnus had turned back around, with renewed vigor, because perhaps it was worth it, for the off chance that he isn’t misinterpreting the whole thing.

But then thinking about those one night stands Alec has ditched for him, made him remember all the gorgeous men Alec had been with. Very masculine gorgeous men, with huge muscles and very real dicks. And Magnus may identify as a man, but he has neither of those things.

I mean, he has made it a point to work out, because he was sick of the taunting and harassing, plus, he wanted to look manlier, and he does have nice muscle mass, but he was no body builder. And no matter how much he wanted one, he doesn’t have a dick.

And isn’t that the root of the problem? One of the main reasons why he hadn’t confessed his feelings up until now? Alec is gay. Extremely and painfully, so. Alec likes dicks, which evidently, Magnus does not have.

And that’s when he started pacing, hoping it would ease his nerves and calm his racing brain. Of course, it is not working.

Left with no other option, Magnus decides to come to terms with the fact that he’s lost his resolve, and should probably just give up. So he comes to a halt, releasing a heavy sigh, and faces the door again sadly.

But what about that gorgeous smile he reserves just for him? And how hard Alec works to make him laugh. And god, Magnus just really wants so bad, he might burst. He wants, he wants, he wants. 

So before he can convince himself otherwise or over think for the millionth time, Magnus bursts into their dorm room.

  
  


“Alexander, I-”

Magnus hears the laughter and moaning, a moment too late, when he’s already pressed the handle and opened the door. It takes a moment for his eyes and ears to register and catch up, so he takes one step into the room, but then freezes, the words dying on his tongue, because Alec is naked in his bed, laying on top of a very gorgeous naked man, with a very real dick.

Alec notices pretty quickly that they are no longer alone, and halts his movements. He detaches their lips and looks over his shoulder, his eyes widening in horror when they land on Magnus.

“Oh.” Magnus chokes out, then stammers, “I… I d-didn’t... I’m s-sorry.” 

Then he turns on his heels, just as Alec calls out to him, “shit Mags, wait I’m sorry.” Magnus can hear the sheets rustling and what sounds like Alec stumbling out of the bed, but he leaves the room anyway, closing the door behind him

Despite being roommates for the past two years, Magnus had never actually witnessed this much before. Sure he had seen Alec make out with men at parties, and sometimes leaving with them. But Alec always made sure to either give him a heads up, put a sock on the door or just take them elsewhere.

And standing outside the door now, feeling the heaviness in his stomach, the lump in his throat and burning in his eyes, Magnus wishes more than anything that he could go back in time, just a few minutes, just enough to not open that door.

He is just a few steps down the hall, when the door reopens and he hears Alec calling his name, but Magnus can’t let him see him like this, so he doesn’t stop or turn around. Unfortunately for him though, Alec is faster and is very quick to catch up to him. 

“Magnus I’m so sorry, you weren’t supposed to see that.” Alec says in a rush, as he grasps at Magnus’ shoulders, wearing just a pair of sweatpants that are hanging low on his perfectly sculptured hips, “I thought you were still in your exam, otherwise I would never…”

“I finished early…” Magnus mumbles pathetically, then averts his eyes, trying to look anywhere but those beautiful hazel ones, that are staring at him now with so much care, it hurts.

“Shit, I’m such an idiot, I should have known.” Alec says, still holding him, “let’s go back, I’ll kick him out, okay?”

Magnus tries to take a deep breath, because Alec is probably expecting some kind of response, but he is having a hard time getting air to his lungs, not that he actually knows what to say anyway, or what are even words and sentences right now. Not to mention that he has no rhyme or reason, or right to be upset at Alec for being with another man, because no matter how much he wants him to be, Alec is not his.

“Are you okay, Mags?” Alec asks sweetly, cupping his neck with his fingers and his thumbs on his jaw, and when Magnus still doesn’t reply, Alec frowns and his eyes turn to concern when Magnus’ chest starts heaving very visibly, “what’s going on? Please talk to me...”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” Magnus chokes out, panicked, “you should go back to… that guy, I’ll come back later.” he then tries to get out of Alec’s hold, desperate to get away and find a hole to bury himself in.

“No Mags, please come back to the room, please.” Alec begs softly, moving his hands to Magnus’ shoulders, refusing to let go.

“Please Alec, just let me go.” Magnus’ voice is barely above a whisper, as he tries to get away again, but when Alec won’t budge, he pushes Alec as roughly as he can, and yells, “let go of me!”

Alec stumbles back a little and raises his hands, his eyes wide in shock. Then as Magnus turns to run, Alec's voice stops him, “Wait, Magnus, what happened?” he asks, clearly worried and so oblivious. “Why are you acting like this?”

And something in Magnus snaps, because seriously? Because how can he not know? So he spins around and looks up at this beautiful man he’s desperately fallen for, over the past two years, and looks him dead in the eyes, as he shrugs his shoulders, “because I’m in love with you, you idiot.”

The words have barely escaped his lips into the air between them, and Magnus already regrets them. His eyes widen in shock at himself, and his hand flies up to cover his mouth as a gasp escapes it.

Alec freezes for a fraction of a second, then when it actually dawns on him, he looks horrified as he blurts out, “Oh, shit.”

Oh shit indeed.

Before he can screw up even more, Magnus makes a run for it.

  
  


He’s running as fast as his feet can take him, with no destination in mind, just as long as he gets as far away as possible. By the time his legs decide he is far enough away, Magnus is panting, and his whole body is shaking and burning.

Looking around him, he slowly realizes where he is, and is more than relieved that his body has subconsciously brought him to his favorite place on campus, to the furthest end of the lake, right by the edge of the forest.

‘ _ What have I done? _ ’ he finds himself thinking in horror, when his heart stops racing from the run, and starts banging from the sheer dread, ‘ _ What have I done? What have I done? What have I done?’ _

Magnus flops down in the grass, by the edge of the lake and stares into the water.

He has always been terrified of bodies of water - lakes, rivers, oceans, even pools at times, opting to never actually enter them. But regardless of his phobia, he has also always had a fascination with water, he could stare at it for hours, and as long as there was no imminent threat, it would calm him down.

And as he sits there and watches the water ripple from the soft wind and glimmer in the afternoon sun, the daunting reality suddenly cuts through him, and a loud, painful sob rips out of his chest as the tears come streaming down in waves.

‘ _ What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? I’ve ruined everything, he’s never going to talk to me, I’m going to have to quit school and move away, because how am I ever going to show my face -’ _

“Magnus!”

_ Oh no. _

Magnus wipes his eyes on his sleeves quickly and looks up just as Alec comes to a stop a few feet away, now fully dressed, his dark hair still disheveled, looking just as miserable as Magnus feels, and that just makes him feel even worse, because he made Alec feel bad, Magnus turned him into the grim reaper that has to turn him down.

“It’s lucky I know you so well.” Alec finally breaks the silence, his voice somewhere between amused and terrified, while gesturing with his arms around him, “because this campus is huge, and I may be an athlete, but it would still be a pain to search it inside out.”

Magnus lets out an incredulous laugh, rolling his eyes and looking back out to the lake.

He can hear rather than see Alec stepping closer, then when he does, Magnus can see his shadow and feels him kneel beside him. Alec then places his hand on Magnus’ chin, and he is reluctant to turn his face because he must look terrible, but he does anyway, because Alec doesn’t really leave him any choice.

“But I totally would.” Alec adds with a smile, his voice low as if he is sharing an important secret, “I would run around campus all day for you.”

“Alec…” Magnus half begs, half whines, not even knowing what else to say or how to react.

“I’m so sorry, Mags.” Alec says with a defeated sigh as he lowers his hand and sits down next to him, “I’m an idiot, I just… you caught me by surprise, and I didn’t think-”

“Alec, please.” Magnus cuts him off, looking away again, “just forget I said anything, okay?”

“No.” Alec snaps as if he was just greatly insulted, causing Magnus to look at him again.

“No?”

“No, Mags, I cannot possibly forget what you said, when I’ve been dying to hear those words from you for so long.” Alec confesses, holding Magnus’ gaze the whole time, then he’s invading Magnus’ space and cupping his face, wiping his cheeks with his thumbs, “God Mags, I’ve been in love with you since the moment I saw you.”

“What?” Magnus chokes out, looking up with what must be doe eyes, then stammers, “no, that can’t be, you’re… you (!), and I’m…” Magnus’ voice trails off, as Alec leans back slightly, and gives him a warning look, as if daring him to finish that terrible sentence, so he skips to, “and what about all those men?”

“I had no idea what I was feeling at first, I just thought I really liked you as a friend, but with time I came to realize how gone I am for you, and those guys were just a distraction, because I didn’t think you were interested.” Alec explains, and Magnus is just too confused, and their faces are too close for him to think properly, “especially lately, I just can’t get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.”

“But… how…?” Magnus stammers, not able to finish his sentence, because he thought he was being obvious with his feelings, but apparently he was just blind to Alec’s.

Ever so perceptive, Alec replies to his unfinished question anyway, “Mags, you flinch every time I touch you, and look mortified when I flirt with you.” he explains with a grimace, but a fond look in his eyes, his hands now holding onto Magnus’ in Alec’s lap, “and you always seem surprised when I prefer to hang out with you than go to a party, like you don’t even want me there.”

“Because you make me nervous.” Magnus whispers out, sniffling.

“Shit, you’re so adorable.” Alec utters with a huge smile, then he tries to lean in and Magnus gasps and pulls away, moving his whole body out of reach.

“Magnus, wha-”

“Alexander, you can’t.” Magnus cuts him off sadly, choking up all over again.

“But I do.” Alec insists, trying to come closer again, only to have Magnus move further away for the second time. Alec looks at him confused, and even a bit hurt, “Magnus…?”

Magnus instinctively finds himself looking down as he stutters, “but I… Alec, I’m… you can’t, you just-”

Alec cuts him off by cupping his face again and whispering, “don’t you even dare.” then connecting their lips, before Magnus could move away for the third time. Magnus does try to pull away for a second, but Alec’s lips are so persistent, soft and talented, not to mention - their Alec’s lips (!) and he just melts into it. When he kisses back, Magnus can feel Alec smile into it, as he pulls him closer and wraps him up in a warm and comforting embrace.

“You’re perfect.” Alec whispers over and over into the kiss.


	2. you make me so horny it hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is understanding and patient with him, but Magnus is running out of excuses and time, because he can’t drag it out forever, and at some point it really won’t be fair anymore, it barely is now. Poor Alexander has had blue balls quite a bit as a result of their heated make out sessions, and let’s face it, Magnus is also getting impatient and horny, because have you seen Alec?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised, the second chapter.  
> thank you all for the kudos and comments, it really warms my heart!
> 
> so this chapter has some smut it in, not very explicit, so hopefully it doesn't make anyone uncomfortable.
> 
> please let me know your thoughts and comments!

Idris university really does have a huge campus, and about 10,000 students - not the biggest, but certainly not small by any means. Even so, you would have to be blind, deaf or just absolutely dumb not to know who Alexander Lightwood is. Not because he is amazing and just down right stunning - or, not just because - but (also) because he is the best football player the school has, probably the best they’ve had in years.

When they were still just friends, Magnus could barely hold it together through a whole game, because Alec was the epitome of his… well, basically all of his fantasies. And just between us, there was no way in hell he could ever stand a chance, not with Alec’s sweaty, perfect, muscular body on display like that, with those tight pants that hugged his ass just right, or the gear that looked amazing on him, or how he moves so effortlessly on the field, looking so skilled and manly and strong and big and threatening, and… if only it remained exclusively on the field... nope, Alec walked around everywhere like a god, and Magnus was just doomed, he had absolutely no way of getting out, especially not with him walking shirtless around their shared room. So who could blame Magnus when those images popped up when he was shoving his hand down his pants and touching himself, or sticking a dildo inside his body, or… okay, we’re way off track here, but you get the picture. right?

Ever since Magnus met this beautiful creature in their freshman year, Alec has always been confident and popular, always the life of the party, a born leader. In complete contrast to Magnus, who had always shied away from the spotlight, focused on his close friends and school. So needless to say, not the most obvious combination. 

Magnus would go so far as to even bet that if they hadn’t been assigned the same room, they probably never would have talked, heck, they probably never would have even crossed paths. But against all odds, they got along so well from day one, and for some reason, that Magnus could neither explain nor fathom, Alec was always there with the cutest smile.

It goes without saying that being the star football player, Alec has had many, _many_ notches on his bedpost, probably also way before he even arrived at the university. And no matter how daunting that is, there is no way around it, Alec is _experienced_ , like, really really experienced.

And Magnus isn’t.

He’s not a virgin, but he can count on less than one hand the amount of people he has been with, and they were all before his transformation, so they weren’t very good experiences because how can you possibly enjoy something as intimate as sex, when you’re so uncomfortable in your own skin.

It’s been almost three years, and he is still terrified of taking that step, no matter how much he adores his new skin and feels good in it.

But now, with Alec, he really, _really_ wants to, but he can’t bring himself to cross that line, so every time things get too heated, he pulls away and comes up with some excuse.

And Alec is understanding and patient with him, but Magnus is running out of excuses and time, because he can’t drag it out forever, and at some point it really won’t be fair anymore, it barely is now. Poor Alexander has had blue balls quite a bit as a result of their heated make out sessions, and let’s face it, Magnus is also getting impatient and horny, because have you seen Alec?

And that experience of his is just so apparent when he kisses him stupid, sucks his pulse point, adams apple or any other part of his skin, and when he grips his waist, or digs his fingers into his hips, and also when his hands glide over his abs and thighs, not to mention when he grabs his ass… but all that is just not enough.

Magnus wants more, more, more!

  
  


“I want you so bad…” Alec murmurs in between lazy and messy kisses, his hands roaming up and down Magnus’ sides under his shirt, which literally causes Magnus’ skin to fill with goosebumps.

But when it suddenly registers, Magnus just panics and quickly pulls away, because despite how much he wants it too, he just can’t bring himself to that. And he knows that Alec has noticed it before, but has yet to say anything because he probably wants to give him his space and wait for him to be ready to bring it up and talk about it.

“Shit, Mags, I’m so sorry.” Alec is quick to apologize, pulling his hands away and using them to lean up on his elbows, “we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“But I do want to.” Magnus blurts out in frustration, before he can think or regret, then gets off Alec’s lap and moves away, so they’re both sitting on different ends of Alec’s bed. 

Alec was playing on his phone, when Magnus stormed in earlier with new found determination. He grabbed Alec’s phone out of his hands, as Alec exclaimed, “hey I almost scored!” but Magnus ignores him and puts the phone down on the nightstand, then cuts off Alec’s inquiry of what’s going on, by straddling his lap and attacking his lips. 

After that, they just got carried away, and Magnus had every intention to follow through and go all the way, but then he panicked, and well, now here they are.

Alec is watching him closely now, a smile slowly spreading on his lips as he inches closer again, “okay, then what is it?” he asks, closer, but still not touching him.

Magnus looks away and bites his lower lip, “It’s just… I never…” he stammers, but cuts himself off with a frustrated groan.

“It’s okay… take your time.” Alec encourages, rubbing his back.

Magnus closes his eyes and leans back into his touch, taking a deep breath before looking at Alec again, “Alexander, I haven’t… I’m…” but he still can’t get it out, and he averts his eyes yet again.

“Mags, are you… a virgin?” Alec tries to lock their gazes again, as he asks softly and calmly, even though it’s a question that would suggest Magnus has been lying to him.

Magnus shakes his head and looks up, “no, but…” he takes a deep breath, then, “but I haven’t been with anyone in over five years.”

And Alec, bless his soul, understands right away, and is quick to pull him close and kiss the top of his head, and Magnus just hugs him back tightly.

“Mags, I love you, and I will wait for you to be ready, for as long as you need.” Alec says in a low and soft voice, “and in case it wasn’t abundantly clear already, I really do want you, I want you just the way you are.”

Then Magnus is pulling back and surging forward, latching their lips together again, pulling Alec on top of him. The football player laughs lightly as he covers him with his large body and comforting weight, kissing him back with the same vigor.

“Are you sure?” Alec asks against his lips.

“Yes.” Magnus breathes out into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Alec’s neck and pulling him even closer. “Yes, I want you.”

“Hey, Mags, just… wait a minute.” Alec says suddenly, gently trying to push him away, but Magnus just clutches on harder and shakes his head, pulling Alec back into a kiss.

“It’s okay, Alexander.” he assures again, “I want this.”

But Alec doesn’t give in, and pushes him again, this time Magnus pulls back, and can’t help but feel a little deflated, “do you not want to?” he asks with an edge of panic, then he starts to ramble frantically, “shit, did you change your mind? Cuz it’s okay, we don’t have to if you’re not-” 

Alec cuts him off by cupping his face gently and kissing him softly, “of course I do, Mag.” he assures with a loving smile, “more than anything, I just… I don’t want to rush into it in the heat of the moment, not before we talk about it.”

“What is there to talk about?” Magnus asks, confused.

Alec sighs softly and sits up again, pulling Magnus with him, “About what makes you feel good.” he says seriously, but in the kindest way possible, “I think maybe we should -”

“No.” Magnus cuts him off sharply, then more calmly, “It’s okay, we don’t need to, just do what feels good for you.”

“But I want you to -”

“I will, let’s just please not make a big deal out of this, okay?” Magnus all but pleads, because he is not big on talking in general, and especially not about this, even though he knows there is nothing to be shy about, especially not with Alec.

Alec still looks hesitant, and before he can ask or say anything further, Magnus crowds his space again and pulls him in, “please, just… _please_ .” he almost begs, looking Alec dead in the eyes so he knows how serious he is, then when Alec still looks worried, he adds, “do you still want to?” _Are you sure you’re attracted to me?_ His mind screams.

Alec smiles and pulls him in for another kiss, “without a doubt in my mind.” he says.

Next thing he knows, they are back in a lying position, with Alec on top of him, both of them down to their boxers. Magnus is glad when Alec doesn’t hesitate to undress him or touch him, he doesn’t treat him like he is different or made of glass, never has.

Alec is grinding his very hard cock down against him, almost like he knows exactly what he’s doing, causing Magnus to writhe and moan helplessly, because in combination with the wet kisses he’s scattering along his neck and jaw, it feels really good. A gay man shouldn’t be so good at this.

“Fuck, you’re making me so hard.” Alec moans into his mouth, then pointedly grinds down again, “do you feel that? Do you feel how hard I am for you?”

Magnus moans and arches his back in lieu of an answer, because shit, he is already so far gone, and even more taken by the fact that Alec cares so much about showing him how horny he makes him, even though he’s not his usual... type?

But then Alec is reaching down with his hand, and starts reaching into the front of his boxers, causing Magnus to panic yet again, and scooch out of reach.

Alec pulls his hands away immediately, “shit I’m sorry.” he says quickly, “I should have asked first, do you not want me to touch you?”

Magnus hates how uncomfortable he feels, to talk about what he wants and how Alec can pleasure him. He hates how uncomfortable he feels about Alec, a very gay man, having to touch him. He hates how uncomfortable he feels about really, _really_ wanting Alec to touch him.

“No, it’s okay I’m fine.” Magnus rushes out, trying to pull Alec back into a kiss, “I just want you.”

Alec looks hesitant, but Magnus is glad when he doesn’t push further and just accepts his answer. He dives in again for another kiss as Magnus starts pushing down his boxers, “I just want you inside me.” he mumbles quietly, shocking them both that he actually just said that.

Alec smiles again, pulling Magnus’ boxer down as well, “I can do that.” he says with a smirk as he reaches into his bedside draw for a condom.

When pushing inside him, Alec is slow and gentle, kissing his hairline as he takes his time to get his whole length in, whispering loving words into his temple. Magnus gasps and moans, and winces a bit as he clutches at Alec’s shoulders, because it’s been a long time, and Alec is big, and in general it’s just a bit overwhelming.

“You okay?” Alec whispers in his ear as he goes in, and Magnus can just nod, “shit you feel so good Mags, so fucking amazing.”.

Magnus feels his belly flip and his cheeks flush at the compliment, and maybe also a little jealous that Alec feels so comfortable with anything sex related.

Alec starts out slow, shallow thrusts, grunting into Magnus’ mouth as they attempt to kiss through it, “you’re so wet…” Alec whispers, as if to himself. Then he looks at Magnus like he really didn’t mean to say it out loud, but when Magnus whimpers in pleasure, because, fuck that was hot, Alec says again, “you’re so wet for me, you’re so fucking wet.”

Slowly and surely, Alec picks up speed, thrusting harder, faster and deeper, going on Magnus’ moans and clutching hands alone, because Magnus may be loud, but he certainly isn’t vocal about what he wants and needs.

But for Magnus it doesn’t matter, what matters is how they feel and that they are sharing this intimate moment, and Alec is being amazing, and it feels so fucking good. It had never been this good, and no one had ever cared this much.

 _‘But it’s not enough.’_ his mind supplies out of nowhere, and Magnus knows it’s right. Having Alec inside him is like nothing he ever experienced, especially since it’s Alec, but he knows that if he wants to cum he will need to be touched, but he can’t ask for that, he can’t make Alec do that for him.

“Wanna make you cum…” Alec whispers into his ear, as if reading his mind, then sucks on his lobe.

And now Magnus is just too much in his own head, and Alec seems to notice fairly quickly, and he slows his thrusts and leans in to kiss him, then whispers, “what do you need, Mags?” he asks and kisses him again, “please tell me what you need.”

But Magnus can’t, he just can't’, “I’m okay, this is amazing.” he says instead.

Alec doesn’t buy it, halting his hips movements completely, and looks down at Magnus with soft eyes and a sad but loving smile, “please don’t do that, I want to make you feel good.” Alec tells him softly, “please tell me what you need, because I can tell that it’s bothering you.”

Magnus tries to deny and deflect, but Alec won’t have any of it, insisting that Magnus talks to him, tells him what’s bothering him and what he needs, so Magnus sighs and forces himself to speak, “it’s just, I can’t... cum from just penetration.” He says, shutting his eyes, then, before Alec can respond, “but it feels so good, and I’m fine just like this, you don’t have -”

“Don’t you dare.” Alec cuts him off, not unkindly, “I love you, every single part of you, and you make me so horny it hurts, so don’t tell me what I want, cuz you got it all wrong.”

“But -”

“If you don’t like it, it's one thing.” Alec interrupts again, “but if it makes you feel good, then I want to, I want to touch every part of you.”

Magnus is about to argue again, but Alec is giving him a warning look, so he holds back. When he opens his mouth in another protest, Alec gives a long hard thrust, causing him to shout out in pleasure and arch his back instead, “that’s it.” Alec encourages with a pleased smirk, “from now on, no talking, only moaning.”

Magnus opens his mouth to respond, but Alec cuts him off with yet another thrust, then with a cheeky grin, he adds, “unless of course, it’s dirty talk.” Magnus groans at that, which makes Alec thrust again, “hey, I want you to feel comfortable to tell me what you want, okay?”

And when Alec is thrusting into him so perfectly, all he can manage is a breathy, “okay.”

After a few more thrusts, Alec’s hand reaches down between them again, and this time Magnus forces himself to not pull away. Alec looks down as he rubs his thumb in small experimental circles, and Magnus head falls back into the pillow as he gasps loudly, “oh.” because shit, it feels so good, and the more he moans and writhes under his touch, the more Alec gives, rubbing and touching just right, as if this isn’t his first time.

“Alexander…” he moans out when he picks up the pace of both his thumb and his thrusts, and because he deserves to know, he adds, “so good, you feel so fucking good.”

And that just seems to spur Alec on even more, as he continues to work, kissing and touching Magnus everywhere within reach, whispering encouragements and loving words.

  
  


After, they lay panting with Magnus half on top of Alec, both completely satisfied and high on the pleasure. Alec kisses the top of his head, “you okay?” he asks into his hair.

“Perfect.” Magnus tells him, then lifts his head up a little, leaning his chin on Alec’s chest as he looks up at him, “you were perfect.”

Alec cranes his neck so he can kiss him on his lips, “so were you.” he says, smiling, “so perfect.”

Magnus lays his head back down on Alec’s shoulder, and runs his fingers along his chest hair, hesitates for a moment, then, “how did you know what to do?” he asks shyly, “I mean, not that I’m doubting your skills, but as a gay man and your first time, it was amazing.”

Alec chuckles and wraps his arms around him tighter, “I umm, I actually read up about it a bit.” he confesses, warming Magnus’ heart, because that is extremely thoughtful, “but Mags, I know it’s difficult for you, but I really want you to talk to me, and tell me what you want, okay?”

Magnus nods, “yeah, you’re right.” he agrees, “it’s not easy for me, but I promise to be better at communicating.”

“Good.” Alec says and kisses his head again, then starts caressing his shoulder blade, “cuz there’s so much weird shit on google, it’s just so confusing.”

Magnus laughs at that and kisses his chest.

“Plus, I want to know what makes _you_ feel good.” Alec adds, giving his shoulder a soft nudge, “not what google says is good.”

“Okay.” Magnus agrees, falling even more in love with this incredible person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!  
> next chapter will be out tomorrow :)


	3. seeing each other naked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lorenzo and Andrew are on the football team with Alec, and had been dating since the beginning of freshman year. Together with Jace, the notoriously bisexual single guy, who likes to “get his dick wet”, they were a tight net group that liked to hang out all the time, and were a little too open and comfortable with each other, or at least as far as Magnus was concerned.
> 
> They obviously didn’t seem to think the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here I am with the third chapter! yay!  
> I actually really enjoyed writing this one... I mean, I enjoyed writing them all, but this one is my favorite. also, the last part of this chapter has been stuck in my head for the longest time and is the one that made me write this whole story to begin with...  
> anyway, thank you all for the lovely responses, hope you enjoy this one too.

For the first eighteen years of his life, Magnus never felt completely comfortable in his own skin, and it had taken him a lot of trials and errors to figure out what it was. But no matter how many different trends, hairstyles and makeup he tried out, or the amount of hobbies, pastimes and extracurricular activities he switched through, something always felt wrong, like something essential was missing.

And growing up in a strict household, with old school “asian style” parents, was no help, because to them, it was either their way, or no way, which meant, being a good girl, with good grades, who never strayed from the righteous path they paved for her. Forced to wear and be anything and everything bland and boring.

So all of his experiments and variety of experiences had to be tested on the down low, without them ever,  _ ever  _ finding out. So he would sneak out in the middle of the night to check out different hangout places despite his young age, meet different people from the different scopes of life. He would pretend to go over to a friends house or the library, so he could practice playing the guitar, dancing or drawing. He would hide his new and different clothes under the proper ones his parents bought, taking them off once he left the house. He would play around with his make up once he got to school, in the girls bathroom, only to take it off before he got home.

It all became so much more difficult when he turned 14 and met Camille for the first time, because she brought everything up to the surface just by being so damn perfect in Magnus’ eyes. And his parents were not blind, they could see more than ever that something was changing in their little perfect daughter, things that to Magnus were not new, but were only just being revealed to them through the impact of Camille’s presence in his life.

His parents did not like it, to say the least, and had become even more strict, and kept their eyes even more watchful. But Magnus was nothing if not stubborn and determined, especially in the prospect of spending as much time as possible with Camille.

They became best friends fairly quickly, but for Magnus, who had already had his suspicions by that time, it was so much more. He always knew that he was different, and for a while he thought that perhaps he was just bisexual, and Camille affirmed his assumptions.

The first time they kissed was purely just youthful curiosity on both sides, they both ended up enjoying it, so the next time they kissed was more purposeful. After that they went on to have more and more firsts together, and Magnus was falling very fast. But he was still very much confused, so not long after they turned 15, he decided to share it with Camille, who by then was his full on girlfriend.

But she just ridiculed him, and made him feel stupid and ashamed for the way he was feelings, for the things he wanted. So he let it go, shoved it down and never spoke of it again. They stayed together for a little while longer, because Magnus was too blinded by love to notice he was being used. He was too head over heels, to care about his own needs and wants, allowing Camille to use and belittle him, making him depend on her and chase her around.

When they were 16, Camille got bored and tossed him away, claiming he was just too weird, too much to handle, too needy and clingy, too pathetic, even though she was the one that made him that way, basically shaping him to her needs like play doh. But of course, Magnus could not see it back then, and allowed her to lay all the blame on him, because he really believed she was right.

It had taken him a whole year to get over her, especially with her still in his face at school, taunting him every chance she got, and parading her new girlfriends and boyfriends in his face. He tried to rebound by making out with other girls and boys, even sex with a couple of them, which at least helped him confirm that he is in fact bisexual, but it all just confused him even more, because something was still wrong. 

Then he met Imasu, the son of a Peruvian ambassador who had moved to the city and joined his grade. Imasu was charming and sweet, and for some odd reason he wanted Magnus. It was while dating the beautiful young Peruvian, that Magnus fully accepted that he wasn’t just bisexual, he was a boy at heart, born in the wrong body.

Magnus had already seen the signs while dating Camille, but had suppressed them so much because of her, that he already got used to life in denial. But Imasu wouldn’t have any of that, coming from a much more open home and heart, the young man helped Magnus through one of the most difficult and confusing times of his life.

And when his parents kicked him out after he told them, Imasu’s family took him in with open arms, even though he and Imasu had decided to break up and remain just friends. But Magnus hated taking things from anyone, so he studied and worked really hard, earning enough to pay them some and save some.

When he finally turned 18, he began his transition.

Two months in, he got his own apartment when Imasu and his family got sent to Germany, and continued working and saving through the next three years.

When he turned 20 he was finally in advanced stages of his transition, and also managed to save up enough for college.

It took him another year to actually start college and feel comfortable in his new skin, learning how to be the real Magnus. It was exhilarating, but still a little difficult to share.

It had taken him some time to share his story with his new found college friends, but they were supportive and patient and happy to help him through it. Slowly he got more comfortable sharing, and he was really starting to be proud of who he was. Despite that, it never became 100% easy for him to talk about. But that spoke more to him being shy and reserved, than anything.

When he first met Alec, the guy turned him into a stuttering mess. Magnus was never the social butterfly, despite being very friendly and dressing colorful and flashy. And combining his introverted personality with Alec literally being the embodiment of his perfect man, made him blurt out without thinking.

“I’m bisexual.”

He quickly clapped his hands over his mouth, horrified that those were the first words ever spoken to this beautiful, perfect man. At least he didn’t blurt out that he was also trans, that he actually got to do properly at a later time when they were already friends (but that’s a story for another time). Alec just smiled warmly and said, “cool, and I’m gay. so do you have a name, or should I just call you roomie?”

Magnus slowly lowered his hands, and smiled back shyly, “Magnus.”

After that, they quickly got more comfortable with each other and Magnus found it easier to talk to him about everything else as well, because he never judged and always accepted him no matter what. But it was more than that, Alec always seemed to like him more with every dirty secret revealed. Where everyone else judged him and made him feel bad, Alec made him feel good and loved.

Magnus is actually glad that they started off like that, as friends, because somehow he doubts that he would have been able to open up like that, had they started dating off the bat. As his best friend, Alec was able to open him up in ways Magnus never expected to.

And he also helped him feel more comfortable to share himself with others, not to shy away from letting people know who he is.

But unfortunately, old habits die hard. Very hard.

  
  


One evening, they were hanging out with Alec’s friends at their apartment, with way more alcohol than Magnus usually likes to drink. Alec and him had already been together for four months and things were going slow, but good. Which was always a point of concern for Magnus, because when things were too good, he worried.

But he was gaining confidence, and was keeping good on his promise to communicate to Alec what he likes, doesn’t like and what he wants and needs.

He was, however, having a difficult time warming up to these group hang outs, and even harder time telling Alec that, so naturally... He didn’t tell him.

Lorenzo and Andrew are on the football team with Alec, and had been dating since the beginning of freshman year. Together with Jace, the notoriously bisexual single guy, who likes to “get his dick wet”, they were a tight net group that liked to hang out all the time, and were a little too open and comfortable with each other, or at least as far as Magnus was concerned.

They obviously didn’t seem to think the same.

The four friends didn’t mind seeing each other naked (and had done so, apparently, on an alarming amount of occasions - non sexually of course [excluding Lorenzo and Andrew, who just loved to talk about their sex life]), and spoke about everything, from hookups and sex, to sports and sweat, and weird manly odors and body parts. So naturally, it was hard for Magnus to fit in, not because of them, they were super nice and welcoming, but because they were all so open, whereas he was more closed.

Needless to say, he usually remained silent, unless asked a direct question, but never actually contributed to the… interesting topics they oh so enjoyed to discuss.

But there was no way in hell he was going to tell that to Alec, not when his boyfriend looks so happy and excited that he is there with him, essentially bringing two of his worlds together.

And after talking about Jace’s latest threesome, all they’re best and worst sexual experiences, and butt holes, Magnus needs a well deserved break, so he excuses himself to the bathroom, just as they start talking about famous men and guessing if they are tops or bottoms, which naturally leads to too many mentions of shoving dicks in asses and mouths.

Alec pulls a suspicious face at him, which he assumes is due to it being his fifth time in the past hour, but says nothing as Magnus walks off in the direction of the bathroom, where he just stares into the mirror and takes deep breaths, trying to ignore the laughter that could be heard from the lounge. He waits the maximum amount of time possible before it becomes too weird and long, then walks back to join them. 

Just as he is about to round the corner of the hall, he hears what seems to be the end of Alec’s sentence, “...Magnus is perfect.” which makes him smile, but then he hears Andrew’s voice, and the words he says bring him to a halt, “he is great, but this is hypothetical and has nothing to do with him. Besides, we know you too well, Alec, so you can’t deny it.” he says with a laugh. And Magnus knows he shouldn’t, but he remains behind the wall, listening intently as Andrew goes on, “I mean, we’ve heard all your stories, we know how much you like sucking dick.”

Alec’s laugh wrenches through him, and the fact that he says nothing in response bugs him even more.

“And we all know that there is nothing quite like the real thing.” Jace joins in, “so you can’t deny you miss it.”

“You guys are idiots.” Alec exclaims, with a laugh, “but yeah, of course I miss dicks, how can I not?”

Magnus is quick to cover his mouth to muffle the sound that escapes, something between a sob and a gasp. He tries to even out his heavy breaths with deep ones, and waits a few more beats until he is calmer to walk out and show himself. By the time he reaches them, they’ve already moved on to another topic, which his ringing ears can’t discern.

When he sits back down, Alec leans in and whispers in his ear, “you okay? You were in there for a while”

“Yeah, just not feeling so well.” Magnus lies in a whisper, not even looking at Alec, “I think I’ll go back to our room to rest a bit.”

“Oh, do you want me to come with you?” Alec sounds concerned, putting down his beer and looking ready to get up.

“No it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” Magnus is quick to decline, “stay, enjoy.”

Then with a quick goodbye and apology to everyone, Magnus gets up and leaves as quickly as possible. He is out the door and a few steps down the hall, when Alec calls his name after him. Magnus freezes in his spot and turns around, “Alec, I told you I’m fine, you should -”

“Don’t give me that bullshit.” Alec snaps, cutting him off. Then when Magnus takes a defensive step back, Alec’s features soften and he comes closer, “I’m sorry, I just wish you wouldn’t deflect like that, not with me, I thought we were getting past that.”

Magnus is just about to insist he is fine, even though he really isn’t, but his boyfriend knows him way too well, and cuts in again, “you heard what I said, didn’t you?” he asks quietly, sounding regretful, and looking horrified as he winces.

Magnus just nods, turning his head to the side.

“You know that’s just guy talk, right?” Alec says, grabbing his face and looking him straight in the eyes, “we drink and talk shit, that’s what we do.”

“It sounded very honest to me.” Magnus says quietly, straining so his voice doesn’t break, stepping out of Alec’s hold.

But Alec just steps back in, speaking softly with a light tone, trying to lift the mood, “well, did you hear the part where I said you’re perfect?”

Alec tries to lean in for a kiss, but Magnus just moves away again, “It has nothing to do with that.” Magnus snaps, repeating Andrew’s words from before, Alec winces at the truth and honesty of them, and probably from the ache in his boyfriends voice, “And I just hate that I can’t give you what you want.”

“What I want, is you.” Alec says sharply, pointing his finger at him to emphasize his point, “I’d rather have you than anyone else with a dick.”

“You say that now, but you might wake up one day and realize that you miss it too much.” Magnus retorts, already feeling the choking in his throat and the stinging in his eyes.

“Then we’ll get a fucking strap on.” Alec snaps.

“But -” Magnus tries.

“Strap on.” Alec insists, trying to come closer.

“Alec, you and I both know it’s not the same.” Magnus shrugs, taking another step out of his reach, “and it’s just going to hurt more if -”

“No, no.” Alec shakes his head vehemently, following him by taking another step forward, and grabbing his shoulders, “you’re not doing this, I won’t allow it.”

“It’s my choice to make.” Magnus snaps.

“No it isn’t, if anything, it’s mine.” Alec says and when Magnus goes to protest, he continues in a hard tone, “I get to decide what I want, and you are the best decision I have ever made, so don’t try to push me away because of your insecurities.”

“But Alec -”

“You know, I really hate that Camille bitch, and anyone else that made you feel this way.” Alec cuts in again, “because you’re nothing short of perfect, and I love you so much, just the way you are. And if I need to spend the rest of my life undoing that damage, then so be it. But I just wish you wouldn’t feel like this, like you’re not enough, because you’re so much more.”

“It’s not your job to fix me, Alexander.” Magnus tries to reason. “You shouldn't have -”

“But I want to, I want you so bad it hurts. So, you are not leaving me, Mags.” Alec cups his face, then presses their foreheads together, “you hear me, you idiot, you’re going nowhere, I won’t allow it.”

“But -”

“No.”

“Alec, I -”

“Nope.”

Magnus tries to struggle out of his hold, but Alec won't budge, “let me go.” he pleas.

“Never.” Alec whispers in response, then pulls him in for a knee buckling, heart melting kiss. A soft drag of their lips, that Magnus can’t resist, a fact that Alec knows well, the bastard.

“Stay with me.” Alec says against his lips, more as a statement than a question. “okay?”

Magnus grunts in surrender, “Ugh, fine, you stubborn asshole.” he mutters pulling away with a pout.

Alec smiles widely in triumph, “it gets me the results I want, so I don’t care.”

“Whatever, shut up.” Magnus regrets it the moment those words escape his lips, as Alec’s grin grows even wider in pure glee, “don’t even -”

“Make me.” Alec challenges.

“Aleeeec.” Magnus whines as Alec starts to scatter kisses all over his face and neck.

“Come on, Mags, make me shut up.”

Magnus sighs in faux exasperation and rolls his eyes, then he shuts his boyfriend with a kiss.

Alec wraps him up and spins him around, causing Magnus to giggle, which he quickly covers with another kiss.

When Alec puts him back down, but keeps a tight hold on him, Magnus smiles up at him and says, “I’m sorry for freaking out on you.”

“It’s okay, what we said was insensitive.” Alec responds with a soft sigh, “no matter how drunk and stupid we are.”

“I also think I was feeling kinda overwhelmed.” Magnus explains quietly, “it’s just not…”

“It’s not really your scene.” Alec finishes.

“Yeah…” Magnus agrees, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, they’re all great, I just… don’t tend to feel as comfortable talking about sex and… all that stuff.”

“Nahhh!” Alec exclaims in faux astonishment, completely over exaggerated, “really? I swear I never would have noticed.”

Magnus slaps him playfully on his shoulder, “hey!” he warns, looking up at him with a scolding gaze, causing Alec to laugh even more, “shu -” Magnus begins, but cuts himself short, even though Alec is giving him a knowing look, “watch it.”

Alec leans forward, then whispers “Or what?” into the small space between their lips, which is so small they brush together as he speaks, and damn Magnus actually forgets for a moment what in the world they were talking about and what he was going to say.

Of course, his boyfriends notices and looks pleased and smug by this outcome, then before Magnus can object any further, he closes the gap.

They get lost in each other's lips for a while, and when they manage to slow things down, Magnus speaks in between short pecks, “so about that strap on…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so how was it? please let me know what you think!
> 
> so I do have many more idea's for this story and version of Malec, so if and when the mood and inspiration strikes, I will post more chapters...
> 
> also, I opened a tumblr not long ago, and I'm still pretty new at it, but if you'd like to check it out and come follow me, this is the link: [tumblr](https://mblwrites.tumblr.com)


	4. ruin you for anyone else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec gets jealous and possessive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there lovelies!  
> your response to this story was incredible! I've already had so many ideas to continue it, and your comments and kudos made me want to do so even more!
> 
> so here I am with chapter number 4!! I also have 5 written out, but still need to edit it, so I'm not sure when I'll upload it yet. I have idea's for more chapters as well, so I'll surprise you with them in the future.
> 
> IMPORTANT WARNING: so I've updated the tags a bit, make sure to check it out, there is some smut in this chapter, and it's a little more explicit than I have ever written. so I changed the rating just in case as well. 
> 
> anyway, hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> please let me know your thoughts!

The crowd was absolutely wild, more so than usual - which was also quite chaotic. The football team had just won the homecoming game, for the first time in five years, and everyone was absolutely elated, jumping on the players and congratulating them in extreme excitement. If his boyfriend wasn’t on the team (and the captain of it as well), Magnus would have never stepped foot in this party. But alas, he wants to support his boyfriend and make him happy. Alec had let him off the hook, told him he doesn’t have to come, but Magnus knows it means the world to him that he’s there. Even if he’s been busy being swamped by basically every other student on campus.

Magnus had never been one for parties. He would enjoy going out to one every so often, just because he loved to dance. But he would be very mindful of which one he went to, picking out the place cautiously, choosing one which doesn’t have sloppy, crazy drunks. A place where he knew that they didn't just let anyone in.

But Alec did love parties, and he loved the crazy crowds. Ever since they started dating they each tried to take steps so they could meet somewhere in the middle, and Magnus was getting more comfortable with it, especially when he had Alec by his side. And Alec also spent more days in with him, enjoying their quiet time instead of going out to another loud and crowded party.

When Magnus decided to come to this party, he didn’t think it would get this crazy, which is naive on his part, because of course it would get this wild. They won the homecoming game. The first one in many years, and the first one with Alec as captain.

So he tried to find himself a secluded area, somewhere to hide out while Alec schmoozed and paid his dues. He had to squeeze through sweaty, sticky bodies until he found his way back outside. There are a lot of people also here, but much less than there were inside, not to mention much less crammed, heated and sweaty.

“Hey there.” a voice he doesn’t recognize calls to him, and at first Magnus thinks it's not directed at him, because he doesn’t know the guy. But then he comes closer and crowds Magnus’ space. “It is a sin for a beautiful man like you to not be at the center of the party.” the guy probably tried to go for sexy, but in Magnus’ ears it just sounds disturbing and creepy.

Not to mention, “that is a terrible pick-up line.” he states dryly, sipping from his paper cup and taking a couple of steps back. He doesn’t even look up at the guy, but he can feel his eyes bore into him in a hungry gaze that makes him feel like a piece of meat, which makes him feel violated.

“I know, but I had to come here to meet you.” the guy goes on, thankfully not stepping closer again, “you’re so gorgeous and I just wanted to talk to you, but I got nervous.”

Magnus takes a deep breath, then another sip of his disgusting beer, “well, that’s very kind of you, but I have a boyfriend.” he says, finally looking up at the guy, but only for a quick glance. He isn’t as tall or broad as Alec, but he’s still pretty large, definitely larger than Magnus. “I should go find him.” he decides, then tries to step past the guy who steps into his space again and blocks his way.

“Oh, come on.” the guy insists, standing way too close for Magnus liking, his breath reeking of alcohol. “If you were mine, I wouldn't let you sit here all alone, or even out of my sight.” Magnus takes in another deep breath and lets it out in a frustrated sigh. There probably is no point in trying to explain himself, and it would be a complete waste of his time, so he just tries to walk away again.

“Hey, hey, please don’t leave.” the guy pleads and grabs hold of his arm, pulling him in close to him. Magnus is so taken aback by the unexpected action, that it takes him a moment too long to respond. By the time he tries to pry out of his hold, the guy has too much of a strong grip on him.

“Let go of me.” he demands assertively, trying to simultaneously shove his chest and pull his arm away. It's painful, but succeeds in loosening the grip a bit. He does the same action again, but despite making more progress, the guy just won’t give up and keeps his hold on him. “Listen up, buddy, I have no desire to kick you in the balls, but I will if you don’t let go of me.” he threatens, causing the guy to make a pained expression.

“Hey! That's not very nice.” he half snaps, half whines, “how would you like it if I threatened to kick you in the balls?”

Magnus has no idea where in the world the courage came from, and what is suddenly possessing him, but he finds himself snorting, then he smirks and looks him dead in the eyes, “I don’t have any.” he states with a shrug. 

The guy is very obviously trying very hard to process that, as best as his drunk mind will allow. Magnus can almost hear the clicking and ticking, and it makes him watch and smirk in amusement. He even almost forgets about the hand holding onto him in a tight, uncomfortable grip. He tries his luck again, but that just gets the guy’s attention back, snapping him out of his deep thoughts. “Ugh, I really didn’t wanna do it.” he says in frustration, “but you leave me no choice.

Just as he is about to go for it and knee the guy in the balls, he is suddenly yanked away from Magnus and shoved a few steps away, a deep threatening voice calling, “get your hands off of him!” Then a pair of strong hands cup his face, and worried hazel eyes scan him from top to bottom, “you okay?” Alec’s concerned voice asks him.

Magnus gives him an annoyed look and mutters, “I’m fine.” but Alec doesn’t seem to notice any of his resentment, and lets go of him, then turns back to the guy still standing there.

“Hey, I found him first!” the guy protests, then flinches when Alec’s gaze on him turns to pure fury.

“He is mine!” Alec growls loudly, then steps closer and grabs the guy by the shirt, yanking him forward, “don’t you ever get near him again!” then he punches the guy and causes him to fall to the ground. 

“Alexander!” Magnus shouts, covering his mouth with his hands. But Alec ignores him, and is just about to lean over him and punch him again, when Magnus grabs hold of him. “Alexander, that is enough.” he scolds, “what has gotten into you?”

Alec turns around, huffing and puffing angrily, and if Magnus wasn’t annoyed at him right now, he would find the ‘he stole my candy’ look, adorable. “He was touching you.” Alec mutters bitterly.

“Yes, but I had it handled.” Magnus retorts irritable. “You didn’t have to come swooping in like a crazy animal.”

“I refuse to allow anyone else to touch you.” by this time the guy is already gone, but Magnus is too busy glaring at his thick, hot headed boyfriend, to notice. “Why are you being like this? I just defended you!” when Magnus doesn’t reply, just rolls his eyes, folds his arms and huffs, Alec goes on, “are you seriously mad right now? The jerk was harassing you! Was I just supposed to stand back and watch?”

Magnus shakes his head and eyes him for just a moment longer, before walking off, ignoring his boyfriend when he calls his name after him.

***  
  


Magnus storms into their dorm room, his feet stomping heavily on the floor as he strips his jacket off and makes his way to his bed. By the time Alec comes in after him, closing the door he left open, Magnus is throwing his jacket on the bed in sharp, angry movements. He is so deep in his own frustration and irritation, that he barely notices Alec coming closer, not until his arms were wrapping around him from behind. Magnus tries to pry out of it, grunting and muttering under his breath, “oh, no you don’t.”

But Alec, the jerk, just chuckles, way too amused for Magnus’ liking, and pulls him in harder and closer. “Come on, babe.” Alec whispers into his ear, “you’re overreacting.”

Magnus huffs and struggles to get out of the hold his boyfriend has on him, “I am not overreacting!” he insists sharply, then yank himself out of Alec’s hold, almost falling over. But the younger man catches him before he does. “I’m not some damsel in distress, I don’t need you to stand up for me.” he goes on, once he is stable again on his feet.

“I know that, Magnus, I never said you couldn’t defend yourself.” Alec says softly, but Magnus just narrows his eyes and folds his arms, as he adds, “I just saw him getting too close to you and I snapped.” when Magnus doesn’t budge, Alec gives him those puppy eyes, he knows Magnus can’t resist. Then he grabs one of Magnus’ arms, unfolding them and pulling Magnus closer, “you're so cute when you’re grumpy, you know that?” the younger man smiles as Magnus frowns and huffs again, but still goes willingly.

“I’m not cute.” Magnus mutters as Alec presses him close to his chest, and when Alec’s grin grows even wider, he slaps his chest gently, “stop it, I’m trying to be mad at you.” but that only makes Alec chuckle and look even prouder, “Alec, I’m serious, you can’t just fight all my battles for me.”

“I know, I know, and I’m sorry.” Alec concedes, taking it more seriously now, “but it’s also really difficult for me to stand aside while someone else tries to claim what’s mine.”

Magnus frowns, his hand holds the front of Alec’s shirt while his hands roam up and down Magnus’ back. “That makes me sound like I’m an object.” he states, vehemently, “I’m not an object Alec.”

“Yeah, I know.” Alec says with a suggestive smirk, his hands sliding down to his ass, caressing his cheeks up and down, “but you’re still mine, and I won’t let anyone touch you.” Magnus tries to protest, but the heat leaves him very quickly as Alec continues his ministrations and attaches his lips to Magnus’ neck, sucking, biting and kissing his skin.

“Alexander.” he half moans, half reprimands.

“I would’ve taken you then and there, if you would’ve let me.” Alec tells him in between kisses. “Taken you apart for everyone to see.”

“No… you umm…” he tries, but can’t seem to think straight with Alec’s wandering hands and mouth taking him apart so perfectly. “Alec.” he says in a whine.

“I wanted to make you scream in front of them, so they all see who you belong to.” Alec goes on as if he hadn’t heard him, “show them how good I make you feel.”

“Yeah…” Magnus breathes out without really thinking much, his brain cells long lost to anything not Alec.

“You’d like that won’t you?” Alec continues, smirking against his skin, “you like when I take you apart, make you scream.” when Magnus doesn’t reply, just moans softly, pliant in Alec’s arms, he smirks again and adds, “you’re mine, you hear me? And no one else can touch you.”

“Alexander.” Magnus whispers, his eyes closed and his body leaning heavily on the football player, “I’m still mad at you.” he informs, but neither of them is convinced.

“I want to eat you out.” Alec tells him in a low, amorous tone, and by the time Magnus catches on to what he said, Alec is already undressing him.

“Wait.” he whispers, but does nothing to stop Alec from proceeding to take off his clothes. “I umm, Alec, you don’t…”

“I do.” Alec cuts in, pushing him gently back onto the bed, then pulls down his jeans and briefs in one swift move. “I want to go down on you so bad.” then Alec is on top of him, still fully dressed, kissing him so hungrily, Magnus can barely keep up. When he slows down a bit, Alec continues, talking into the kisses, “Gonna make you scream so loud.” 

Magnus wants to respond, say anything, but he is already so far gone, and Alec is starting to scatter wet, sloppy kisses down his neck and chest, leaving a trail of dark purple marks. “Alexander.” Magnus finally manages, writhing under Alec's lips, as they make their way down his body.

By the time Alec reaches his pelvis, making his way down his hip bone to his inner thighs, leaving more marks on his skin, Magnus is so out of it, moaning and mumbling nonsense under his breath. “I love it when you moan.” Alec tells him in a low, sultry voice, “I love that I am the one that makes you moan so much.”

His gorgeous huge boyfriend straightens up again and looks down at his body, scanning his work with pride. He grazes his fingers over the marks and bruises, “now everyone can see who you belong to.” Alec tells him, continuing to caress Magnus all over, “you look so beautiful with my marks.” Alec has always had a thing for marking Magnus up as much as he can, even when he’s not acting upon a jealous rage. 

Then Alec is diving in hungrily.

Next thing he knows, Magnus’ legs are thrown over broad shoulders and his heels are digging into strong back muscles. Alec is situated between his legs and Magnus is both tugging on his hair and pushing his head down closer, to get more friction. “Shit, shit, fuck, Alec… Alec.” he rambles moans, unable to say much more than that.

“Yes, show me how good I make you feel.” Alec orders into his skin, “moan for me.” Then he dives in again, with renewed vigor, causing Magnus to scream louder, clutch harder and arch deeper into the mattress. “You’re mine, mine, only mine.” Alec chants into his wet folds, the vibration of his voice sending chills all over Magnus’ body.

“Yours, only yours.” Magnus breathes out, barely above a whisper, “fuck, fuck, yes, Alec, so good.” 

“You taste so good.” the football player moans into him, “so good, so yummy.” Alec is licking, sucking and rubbing his face into him in a perfect cycle that has Magnus falling off the edge so hard, he almost passes out, he probably did for a minute there. Tingles and waves of pleasure spread through his veins and skin, his entire being, causing a sensory overload and all of his muscles to tighten, as he screams out Alec name one last time, squeezing his boyfriend tight between his legs.

Then he goes completely limp, almost melting into the mattress.

What feels like forever later, when he finally regains some function, he looks down at Alec, who is still hovering between his legs, and has a shit eating grin on his face, which is completely wet. “Did I…?” he manages in a small voice, his eyes widening in shock.

“Yep.” Alec replies with pride, his grin growing even more impossibly larger. “You did, and it was amazing.” 

“I’ve never…”

“I know.” Alec then straightens up and finally takes his shirt off, “it was so damn hot, and I wanna fuck you so bad right now.”

Magnus chuckles, then leans his head back on the pillow, “okay, just give me a minute.” he says breathlessly, but next thing he knows, Alec is also completely naked, hovering above him and positioning himself at his entrance. “Alec.” he half moans, half complains.

“I wanna be inside you so bad right now.” Alec informs him in a low voice, kissing every piece of skin he can reach, “gonna make you come again on my dick.” Then without waiting for a response, Alec starts pushing in, swallowing up Magnus’ gasps and moans.

“Yeah…” Magnus whispers on an exhale. “Want that.”

“Yeah?” Alec asks with a smirk, finally bottoming out and starting slow, shallow thrusts, that reach so deep, Magnus can barely breathe.

“Yeah.” Magnus chokes out again, just as Alec starts to speed up his pace, going harder and rougher, causing the bed to shake and creek. Magnus wraps his legs around Alec’s waist and arms around his shoulders, pulling him in closer, attaching their lips together in sloppy, wet kisses. “Wanna ride you…” he whispers in between kisses.

Alec smirks at him knowingly, thrusts a few more times then grabs Magnus’ hips and flips them over with the ease of an athlete. It's far from the first time, but the display of strength has Magnus even more hot and heavy, just like every time before. “You like that don’t you?” Alec smirks again, still holding onto his hips as he thrusts up so hard Magnus falls forward onto his chest. 

Magnus allows Alec to control him for a few more thrusts, enjoying the bruising grip on his hips, and the deep rough thrusts. Then he straightens up again and starts taking control, grinding his hips back and forth in a fast pace, with the help of Alec’s hands that are still on his hips.

On the first week they started having sex, Magnus was riding Alec for the first time, pretty much identical to this time, and something about the position had Alec’s dick hitting him just right inside, and his groin area rubbing perfectly against his. After a few short moments, he came so hard, without Alec needing to even touch him, that it took him a few more moments to realise and digest what had happened.

Since then, it had become one of their favorite positions, mostly because it not only made them both climax, but it also knocked their breaths out from how strong and powerful it was, how intense and satisfying.

Alec looks up with complete adoration, at the most gorgeous site, of his boyfriend moving on top of him with complete abandon, lost in his own pleasure, with his back arched and head thrown back. “You’re amazing.” he praises, still watching the smaller man in awe, “you look so beautiful like this, riding my dick, taking it so well.” Magnus’ mouth is open, constantly releasing moans and noises of pure bliss. 

Then he watches as Magnus falls off the edge, leaning forward and grabbing onto Alec’s chest for balance. “yes, yes, cum for me.” Alec spurs him on, then sits up and wraps his arms around Magnus, holding him tight and close as they both continue to grind and thrust, basking in the afterglow of their climax.

Alec continues to hold him as they slowly stop moving, both panting heavily and tangled together. Magnus buries his face in Alec’s neck and peppers small kisses there, “shit, that was perfect.” he mumbles into Alec’s skin, then makes his way to his lips and captures them in his, in small sloppy kisses, “you absolutely ruined me.”

Alec chuckles and kisses him back, tightening his hold on him even more, “only for other people I hope.” he tells him, looking at him with mischief, but total honesty, “because you’re mine and I won’t let anyone else have you.”

“Possessive much?” Magnus questions with an amused chuckle.

They both pull back just slightly so they can look at each other, and as Alec gazes up at him, still buried inside him, Magnus feels so completely whole, which is a new strange feeling for him. “I am, you drive me so crazy.” Alec tells him in a soft voice, “and I’m sorry I freaked earlier, but I just can’t stand even the thought of someone trying to take you away from me.”

“No one ever will.” Magnus promises softly, “I’m only yours.”

“Yeah you are.” Alec smiles up at him, then pulls him in again for a slow, passionate kiss, a lazy drag of their lips together. “Marry me.” Alec whispers against his lips, and it takes him a moment, but when he realises what Alec had just said, he pulls back and looks at him with wide eyes, and his boyfriend smiles at him with love radiating off of him in waves, “Marry me.” Alec says again, as more of a statement than a question.

“Alexander.” Magnus whispers in shock, “are you serious right now?” he then looks down at their still naked bodies wrapped around each other.

“More than ever.” Alec tells him.

“We’ve only been dating for a few months.” Magnus states as he slowly pulls away from Alec, watching him carefully, “we’re still in university, this is hardly the time.”

“I don’t care about time, I just want to be with you.” Alec explains simply, “I’m never going to want anyone else, so why wait?”

“Alexander…” Magnus whispers and smiles softly, “I also want just you, but I… I need more time.”

Alec nods in understanding, “yeah, I’m sorry, I just got caught up.” he says and pulls Magnus back in, “and I just wanna make you mine.”

Magnus allows Alec to pull him in, climbing eagerly back into Alec’s arms, “I am yours.” He whispers into the small space between their lips, then closes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so there you have it, possessive Alec. I just couldn't resist. I had to.  
> I wasn't planning on making it smutty... but one thing lead to the next, and it just happened. so... you're welcome? or, sorry?
> 
> please let me know what you think and how I did in the comments.  
> hope you're looking forward to chapter 5 just as much as I am!
> 
> 'till next time!


	5. oh, look what you’ve done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus gets a surprise visit, from an unwelcome visitor from his past, who causes him to crumble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there lovelies!  
> your response to this story has been amazing! so thank you so much for that.  
> this chapter took me a little longer to edit than I expected, but here it is!  
> I've had the idea for this chapter since I started this story, and I'm really excited to share it with you.  
> hopefully it came out good enough and you all enjoy it.
> 
> VERY IMPORTANT TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> I've added some tags, as this chapter has some agsty moments with some foul words, including trans-phobic and homophobic comments. I really hope it doesn't offend anyone, it is purly for the story purposes and used to show how that language is actually terrible and no one should have to endure that, least of all our precious Magnus.
> 
> thank you for sticking with me, hope you enjoy!

It's been years since the last time Magnus had seen his mother, and even longer since he had seen his father. When he was kicked out of the house he grew up in, at the young age of 17, his mother tried to plead with him, begging him to “change his mind”. He tried to explain to her that it wasn’t a decision he could just make so easily, that he couldn’t ignore all those burning feelings. He told her how he felt, like everything inside of him was confused and conflicted, that nothing made sense. He opened up to her like he never had before, but she just couldn’t get it, her thick, old-fashioned mind just refused to fathom what Magnus was telling her.

“I can still convince your father.” she told him, as if he hadn’t just poured his heart and pain out to her, “we can tell him you were going through a phase, that you were just confused. He will let you stay if you just change your way.” by then, Magnus’ eyes were bloodshot red and puffy, and his soul was too jaded for someone that young. The realisation that no matter how hard he tried, his mother would never accept him the way he was, was painful and shattering, more so than anything he had ever experienced.

“No.” he told her simply, in a small broken voice, knowing too well that it would be pointless to elaborate. Not to mention that he had no more energy left in him, not even an ounce. There was barely enough left in him to get up and leave, ignoring his mother's last plea, calling his name out to him, a name that he never truly identified with.

The next time he saw his mother, he was at the last stages of his transformation, getting ready to start University and finally begin his new life. She showed up on the doorstep of his small rundown apartment, looking at him as if he was the biggest disappointment life could have thrown at her. “My beautiful girl.” she had whispered with so much pain in her voice, it cut right through Magnus, “what have you done to my beautiful girl?” she reached out with her hand as if to caress his cheek, but didn’t dare to actually complete the action. Magnus had to fight the urge to slap his own mother, then shove her out of the door.

So he took a deep breath, in a failing attempt to calm his nerves and anger, “What do you want?” he snapped, overlooking her ignorant comment, trying to cut to the chase so he could get her out of there as soon as possible. 

“I would say that I’ve raised you with better manners than that,” his mother began, and Magnus already hated where she was going with that, “but I’ve also thought I educated you to be -”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” he cut her off in pure rage, surprising even himself with how he managed to stand up to her like that, he had never dared to be that rude to her before. But he knew it would be even harder to hear the end of that sentence. She glared at him completely shell shocked, her mouth still ajar, stuck on the last vowel she spoke. “I don’t want to hear it, so just tell me what you came here for and get it over with.”

“Annis-” his mother began, in a firm voice, but Magnus cut her off yet again, shaking his head, fighting the urge to cover his ears.

“No, don’t call me that.” he mutters through gritted teeth, “please let’s just get this over with.”

His mother huffs disapprovingly and folds her arms, “fine,” she concedes in a shrill, “it’s your father… he’s been feeling ill for a while now, so we went to the doctor.” she paused for dramatic effect, and Magnus just wanted her to get it over with, and he hated how he was forced into feeling impatient like that with the person he is supposed to love most in the world. “Your father has prostate cancer.”

The storm of conflicting feelings that arose within Magnus, were too overwhelming and rendered him completely speechless and breathless. They might have been rare, but he could still remember happy and good moments with his father. And his father’s love may have been conditional, but he was still his father. But what kind of father kicks his own child out of the house at 17, just because he wanted to be true to himself, to live a life that didn’t make him suffocate.

“What?” he finally managed to choke out.

“The doctor’s say he has about four years to live, five if he is lucky.” his mother informed him in a formal and distant tone, “I think you should come and make right by him.”

And then Magnus just saw red, the conflict in him disappearing as if it were never there, “right by him?” he growled, glaring at her, “that man kicked me to the streets just because I wanted to do what was right for me, he never really cared about me and what made me happy.” Magnus stands up and towers over his still sitting mother, “neither of you cared, you treated me like a puppet and forced me down a path you carved.”

“Don’t be so over dramatic.” his mother retorted, standing up as well, “he is your father, and he is sick - “ but Magnus could no longer care, as painful as it was to admit. He’d rather that pain, than see the disgust on his father’s face when he saw him again, the same one his mother had at that moment. So he shut his mother up once more, telling her to never contact him again, then kicked her out of his apartment.

  
  


Four years later, Magnus is in his third year of university, sharing a dorm room with the most perfect boyfriend he could ask for, he has great friends, and his life feels like it's finally steering exactly in the right direction. He is just leaving the dorms building, heading out to meet Cat and Ragnor, so they could go watch Alec’s game together. But he stops dead in his tracks, at the bottom of the steps, when he comes face to face with the last person he expected to see.

He stands frozen in place for a long moment, they both do. Just staring at each other, until Magnus finally manages to speak, “mother.” he chokes out, “I thought I told you to never come see me again.”

The look that appears on his mother's face, of pure sorrow and pain, has him regretting his harsh words. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, when he opens his eyes again, he manages to speak more calmly, “I wasn’t expecting you, how did you find me?” he asks.

“I have my ways.” she replies softly, surprising Magnus with the lack of fight in her voice, “I need to talk to you.”

“Well, I need to go to my boyfriend's game, so can we talk later?” he questions impatiently. He’s both curious and dreading what she has to tell him. 

He watches as his mother’s face contorts in pure shock, “boyfriend?” she spits out as if the word burns her tongue, “you did this to yourself just so you could be  _ gay _ ?” Magnus’ eyes widened in complete shock and rage, the breath knocking out of his as if she had physically punched him in the gut.

Magnus shakes his head and starts walking past her, as soon as he regains a sliver of control over his body. “I’m not doing this right now.” he mutters as he passes by her.

But as he takes a few steps further away from her, she speaks up again, stopping him in his tracks once more, “it’s your father.” she says.

He takes a deep breath and without even looking back at her, “I don’t care.” he says, even though a small part of him does care.

“He died this morning.” she informs him anyway, and Magnus fights the urge to cry over the father that never loved him, “I would like for you to come to the funeral.” 

“No.” he replies simply and adamantly.

“He is your father.” she counters harshly.

Magnus spins around so fast he almost loses his balance, “he stopped being my father the day he kicked me out.” he snaps at her, taking a step closer, “he never loved me.”

“How dare you?” she snaps back, “you selfish brat, you ruined our perfect little daughter for your own vagary, and now you don’t even have the decency to show up for his funeral?” she folds her arms, shakes her head and looks him up and down in disapproval, “He would be so ashamed to see you like this, the least you could do is pay your respects.”

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Magnus tried desperately to slow his racing heart and prevent the tears from coming. But the lump in his throat, and the pressure on his chest barely allow him to breathe. “You could have been so great.” he hears his mother speaking, his eyes still closed, and he just wishes she would shut up. She doesn’t. “You were destined for so much more than  _ this _ , but instead you threw it all away and just wasted everything we taught you.”

“Shut up.” he finally manages in a quiet, broken voice.

“How dare you -” she begins in a scolding tone, but Magnus snaps his eyes open and glares at her with pure outrage.

“I said, shut up.” he shouts in fury, then without another word he marches past her and back up the steps, through the main entrance and straight to his dorm room. He texts Cat that he won’t be able to make it, using the excuse that he still had too much homework left to do, even though he had finished all of it hours ago. He just needed to be alone, he couldn’t be in that loud and cheering crowd while his whole world came crumbling down around him.

  
  


By the time Alec came into the room, it was almost pitched black, the only source of light was Magnus’ bedside lamp. Magnus was sitting on his bed, reading a book and trying desperately to forget the conversation with his mother. But to no avail.

“Hey.” Alec greets him happily with a smile, but Magnus doesn’t even glance up at him. Not even when his boyfriend walks over and kisses his cheek. “I missed you at the game, I thought you would be there.”

“Yeah, well, not everything revolves around you and your games.” Magnus mutters harshly, unable to prevent the venomous words from leaving his lips. He was just filled with too much pain and anger, he could no longer control it, and poor Alec was there on the receiving end of it, even though none of it was actually directed at him. Magnus still doesn’t look up, but he can feel the impact of his words radiating off of Alec in waves.

Nonetheless, his perfect boyfriend manages to keep his cool and patience, “are you okay?” he asks, concerned, sitting down beside Magnus on his bed, “did something happen?”

“No.” Magnus snaps, keeping his eyes on the book, even though he hadn’t actually been reading for hours already. “I’ve just been studying all day and I’m tired.”

“Okay.” Alec says slowly, but doesn’t sound convinced at all, “well, I was going to go out to the victory party, thought you might want to come.”

Magnus finally snaps the book shut and looks up at Alec, “I hate those parties, and I’m sick of always having to go to them.” he yells way too harshly, “I’m just so sick of always having to go to all of your games, and all of those raging, drunken parties.”

Alec stares at him for a moment, taken aback by his outburst, “no one ever forced you to.” he finally managed, “I thought you wanted to, I would have never -”

“Whatever, just leave me alone.” Magnus snaps, cutting him off. He doesn’t want to take it out of Alec, he doesn’t deserve to be treated this way, but something in Magnus just cracked, and he can’t seem to take charge of his emotions and keep them in check.

“Magnus, I know something’s up, and I -” Alec tries again, but Magnus just pushes him away when he comes closer.

“I said, leave me alone!” he shouts, causing Alec to jump back quickly and stand up off the bed. They just stare at each other for a long moment, both shocked from what had just transpired between them.

“Look, clearly you’re going through something, and I want to be there for you,” Alec beings in a surprisingly calm tone, “but I can’t do that if you keep pushing me away.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want you to.” Magnus snaps back brutally, looking away again.

“You don’t have to take it out on me.” Alec finally snaps back, no longer able to keep his cool, “you know, I try to be so damn patient with you, and it’s still not good enough. No matter how hard I try, you still push me away.”

“Then maybe you should take the hint for once.” Magnus bites uncontrollably, “and just stay away from me.”

There is another long, tense pause, then Alec is grabbing his jacket and putting it back on, “you know what, I really don’t deserve this.” he mutters as he grabs his phone and wallet, “I’m going to that party, where people actually appreciate me.”

“Yeah, you do that.” Magnus grunts, folding his arms and looking off to the side, huffing and puffing in rage. Alec mutters a few curses under his breath then leaves the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Magnus stays frozen for another long moment, staring into the space in front of him. Then he lays down on his side facing the wall, with his back to the door. He grabs one of his pillows and hugs it close to his chest, as a few stray tears fall down his cheeks. He’s finally done it, he’s finally pushed Alec away, the only good thing in his life, and Magnus managed to ruin it. Of course he did.

A few minutes later, the door reopens and Alec comes storming back in, shutting the door behind him loudly. He mumbles something about being too angry to go to the party, and his mood being ruined. Then Magnus hears him stripping off his clothes, probably getting ready to go to bed. 

Alec then shuts the light off and Magnus hears him climbing into his own bed, and Magnus hates himself even more. It's been a very long time since they last slept separately, and it was pure torture. Because finally, Magnus’ rage from the past few hours, started crumbling down, making way for the anguish. And Magnus needed his boyfriend more than ever, but it may have been too late, and he couldn’t bring himself to cross the room and curl up in Alec's strong, protective arms.

Luckily for him, he didn’t need to. Because moments later, his bed dips and a large, warm body wraps around him. Magnus clutches his eye shut and bites his bottom lip, trying and failing to prevent a quiet sob from escaping. He feels Alec's lips on his temple, in a long lingering kiss, then his warm breath as he whispers into his ear, “I don’t know what happened and why you’re picking fights,” he says softly, “but I know that you’re hurting, and you can try and push me away, but I’m stronger, so you won’t succeed.” 

Magnus sniffles and chuckles softly at that, then he turns in his boyfriend's arms as the dam finally collapses. Alec’s arms hold him even tighter, almost merging him into his chest, as deep, gut wrenching sobs tear out of him. Magnus is grasping onto him for dear life, while all the pent up feelings flood out of him.

When Magnus finally manages to calm down, he pulls his face - which had been buried in Alec’s chest, back and looks at his boyfriend. The younger man is looking back at him with so much care and love, it’s overwhelming, and so in contrast to the way his mother looked at him. “Hey, there you are.” Alec whispers with a small fond smile, and he cups Magnus’ face and wipes the tears away. 

Magnus sniffles and smiles faintly back at him, “hi.” he says barely above a whisper, which just makes Alec smile even more. “I’m so sorry.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Alec asks softly, dismissing his apology, as he caresses Magnus’ hair gently, causing the other man to close his eyes and lean into the touch. They stay like that for a long, quiet moment, and Magnus is glad Alec doesn’t push him.

After a good few minutes of enjoying his boyfriends touch, and basically purring like a cat, Magnus finally opens his eyes again and looks at his favorite hazels, “my mother came to visit me.” he tells him in a small voice, to which Alec clenches his jaw and holds onto him tighter, but doesn’t respond just yet, allowing Magnus the time he needs, “my father died this morning and she wanted me to come to the funeral.” 

“Shit.” Alec mutters, and Magnus then goes on recounting all her other terrible accusations and harsh words. And with each recap, he can tell that his hot-headed and protective boyfriend is fighting the urge to unleash more and more. “How dare she? After everything they put you through…” he grumbles angrily

Magnus hums in agreement, then bites his lower lip. “I’m sorry I took it out on you.” he whispers, looking his boyfriend straight in the eyes, “you didn’t deserve it.”

“It’s okay, babe, what she did to you tonight, was nothing short of traumatic.” Alec whispers back, his hand caressing Magnus’ waist and hip.

“I’ve never felt like that before.” Magnus admits, as Alec continues to caress him comfortingly, “I just lost all senses, all I could see was red, and all I could feel was my anger.”

“I would’ve too.” Alec tells him softly, then after a moment of silence, both in deep thought, “but are you okay? You know, with your dad and all?”

The older man shrugs as best he can in their position, he tries to make as much sense as he can of all the jumbled up feelings inside of him, even though they barely make sense to him, “I don’t know, I am sad about him dying, he was my father after all. And I do have a few good memories with him.” he begins to explain, then goes on after a small sigh, “but he rejected me in the most painful way possible, he just kicked me out when I needed him most.” Magnus’ voice breaks a little at the end, as fresh tears find their way out. 

“Shh, it’s okay, I’m here.” the younger man whispers and pulls him close, wrapping him up tight again, “I’m here.” he repeats, as Magnus clutches onto him desperately. Never in his life had he felt so broken and sad, yet so loved and cherished at the same time. But more than anything, in that moment he felt lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so.... how was it? poor Magnus, what a verbal attack, and from his mother of all people!! the person who is supposed to love him the most and unconditionally. I know that this is just a story, but I hate that there are people in this world that have to endure this kind of treatment and insults. NO ONE deserves it, and this is my small way to raise awareness to that. we need to love and embrace each other the way we are, not spread more and more hate. LIVE AND LET LIVE.
> 
> anyway, please let me know your thoughts in the comments.  
> hope you're all well and healthy. keep safe.
> 
> MBL.


	6. I get to love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's Magnus' birthday and Alec has a special day planned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there lovelies!
> 
> first and foremost, I would like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all of your kudo's and comments! it is unbelievable the response to this fic. it touches on some difficult subject which I've done a lot of research on in hopes to make it justice. and it makes me so so happy to hear from you guys that it actually came out good, it really means the world to me. especially in this fic, where I really worked hard to convey the important message of acceptance and tolerance. so thank you so so much! you are the best!
> 
> on another note, for those of you reading y other fics, you may have noticed I haven't posted in a hot minute... I've had a difficult couple of weeks, and couldn't bring myself to write anything. However, I was in desperate need of some major fluff and decided to write up this chapter. it is not my best, but I just really needed to write something too sweet and too happy... I've been contemplating if I should post this o not, because it is far from my best, and this chapter wasn't initially planned for this fic, but then I just decided to do it anyway in hopes that you enjoy it anyway. perhaps more people out there need some sweet fluff to brighten their day...
> 
> anyway, enough ranting. here is chapter six, hope you enjoy :)

There is a warm large hand laying on his hip, with a pleasant weight, and gentle cushion lips pressing softly to the back of his ear, slowly and sensually making their way down, as the hand on his hip, starts making its way up under the large sweatshirt he is wearing (which belongs to the owner of said hand and lips). Even in the haze of sleep, Magnus recognises the ministrations of his boyfriend who is now whispering between kisses, “wake up sleeping beauty...” but the sleeping man is enjoying the current state so much, that he fails to hear him, let alone actually comply to what he is asked to do. “Come on birthday boy, it is time to wake up...” his boyfriend’s deep whispered voice goes on as he reaches the junction between his shoulder and neck, “I promise to make it worth your while.”

Magnus groans and turns from his side onto his back and stretches with soft mewls, with his eyes still closed. He can feel Alec crawl on top of him, balancing himself on his forearms which are now framing his face. When Magnus does finally open his eyes, he is granted with the younger man's adorable lopsided smile, “there you are.” Alec whispers, leaning in slightly for a gentle eskimo kiss.

“Hey.” Magnus whispers back, then glances over at the clock on the bedside table, “how long have you been up?” he is not used to Alec being up before him, let alone at 9am on a Sunday.

“Well, it is my fiance’s birthday, and I just had to get him his favorite cronut and pumpkin spice latte.” Alec told him with a proud grin, which makes his heart flutter in so many ways.

“What a lucky man he is.” Magnus comments as Alec leans in again.

“Not as lucky as I am.” the larger man whispers then kisses his boyfriend softly on the lips.

When they both sit up, Magnus smirks at Alec and raises an eyebrow at him, “fiance?” he questions with a tilt of his head.

“Damn it, I was so close!” Alec exclaims dramatically, causing Magnus to roll his eyes, “or, wait, is that…?”

Alec looks so adorably hopeful for a second there, that Magnus feels bad, and tries to let him down gently, “it’s a not yet.” he tells him, then wraps his arms around him and kisses him again, “but nice try.”

“Yeah, it was totally worth it.” Alec agree’s as he also wraps his arms around the smaller man, pulling him closer for another kiss. When they pull back Alec hands him his pumpkin spice latte with a small scowl, “I have no idea how you like that disgusting drink, but if it makes you happy, I will not complain.”

Magnus chuckles and accepts the cup gratefully then inhales the wonderful cinnamon scent, “thank you darling.” he says blissfully, then after his first sip he moans appreciatively and adds, “you just have no taste buds, mr. dark and bitter.”

“Hey!” Alec protests heatlessly, then pulls his boyfriend in close again. “So I have a whole day planned for us...” he begins with another proud smile, “so finish this up, then we can get ready and go to our first stop of the day.”

“Wow, you really didn’t have to plan anything too intricate.” Magnus tells him, after taking another sip of his latte, enjoying the warm liquid running down his throat, “I would have been happy to just spend the day curled up in bed with you.”

“While that does sound very tempting, I do want to make this day different from our regular Sundays...” then with a cheeky grin, he adds, “as… fun as they may be.”

Magnus chuckles and shakes his head, “okay then, where to first?”

  
  


By the time they manage to actually peel themselves out of bed and get ready, it is already noon. Which apparently Alec had actually planned on, so they arrived at their first destination right on time. Magnus is blindfolded, so he can’t see where they are, and only when Alec helps him out of the truck does he finally take it off, revealing their first stop of the day.

Magnus looks up in awe, then claps his hands and bounces on his feet in excitement. “You like?” Alec questions from behind him. Magnus squeals and turns to jump into his boyfriend's arms basically yelling his gratitude out of enthusiasm. Alec catches him effortlessly and holds him up, then chuckles when Magnus hugs him tightly, completely lost in his euphoria. 

“Wait!” Magnus suddenly pulls back and frowns at his boyfriend, who sets him back on the ground gently, “last week when I asked you to go with me, and you said you weren’t willing to step foot in here…”

“I was trying to get you off the idea cuz I wanted to surprise you.” Alec interjects with a grin, and when Magnus gives him a piercing, unimpressed look, he goes on defensively, “what? I really wanted to surprise you. I mean did you see how excited you got, just now? it’s so damn adorable!”

Magnus shakes his head then breaks into a joyous laugh as he wraps his arms around Alec’s neck again, “I know, I’m only teasing.” He pecks Alec on the lips then turns to look up again at the huge tent, set up in the town's main park, with the sign ‘Idris Winter Wonderland’.

It is a winter festival the town holds every year, and Magnus had been only once before with Cat in their first year at the university. This year is the first one for him and Alec as a couple and he has been dying to go, begging his boyfriend to take him.

Alec steps forward and clasps their hands together then nudges him forward and they make their way into the tent. Once inside, they take their time walking around the different vendors and booths. In the center of the tent, there is a large ice rink and around it there is a large path filled with trees decorated with snow and colourful lights. In the far end of the tent there is an arcade. Along one side of the path there are booths with different games, and on the other side of the path are vendors with many food options from all over the world.

Magnus feels like a kid in a candy store, with so many distractions, colours and things to see and do. He has absolutely no idea what and where he wants to begin, so when Alec suggests they start at the first booth and work their way around, he jumps on board.

  
  


Once they reach the arcade, they have both won a few prizes, which they donate at the donation booth for the town's orphanage. Magnus only keeps the purple bunny that Alec won for him at the bow and arrow booth. It was very impressive how fast he had won it, and so very damn sexy. Plus it's a bunny, and he’s purple. And it will forever remind him of this perfect day with Alec.

At the entrance to the arcade, there is a cotton candy vendor, and Magnus doesn’t even need to ask or make a puppy face (although he does anyway, because he knows Alec loves it), and his boyfriend is already taking his hand and pulling him into the line. “Best boyfriend ever.” he announces, then leans up on his toes and puckers out his lips for a kiss, which Alec immediately grants him. 

When they finally get their cotton candy, Alec grabs it and holds it up out of his reach, so Magnus pouts for real this time. Popping out his bottom lip and making sad eyes, with a small frown of his eyebrows - a look which he has mastered over the past few months of their relationship. Alec chuckles at him, then shakes his head, “awww don’t worry, you’ll get some.” he says in a cooing voice, then smirks as he takes a piece of cotton candy into his other hand, “I just want to feed it to you.” he adds in a seductive voice, then holds their eye contact as he lowers his hand and feeds Magnus.

The smaller man decides to tease him back and when he opens his mouth, he wraps it around Alec’s fingers as well, closing around them, all the while piercing his eyes through the other man. Alec in turn is left speechless, his mouth agape, watching him in awe as he sucks on his fingers gently and moans around them. “Shit.” Alec breathes out low, his gaze tuning almost predatory. 

Magnus releases his fingers with a small pop, then smirks up at his staring boyfriend and pats his jaw softly, “you should close your mouth before you swallow a fly or something.” he says teasingly. When Magnus turns and starts walking into the arcade, purposely swaying his hip, he doesn’t get too far before the younger man catches up with him and wraps his arms around him from behind. 

“That was so hot.” Alec whispers into Magnus’ ear, “when did you become such a tease?”

Magnus chuckles softly, then turns in his boyfriend's arms and wraps his own around his neck, “well, you seem to really like it.” Magnus concludes, then leans in and continues when their lips a mere centimetres apart, “and it is really,  _ really  _ fun.” Then before Alec can even attempt to close the gap, he pulls away and walks off, swaying his hips again, and calling over his shoulder, “you coming?”

After that it is just relentless teasing and shameless flirting and innuendos, both of them driving the other crazy, trying to one up one another. Alec presses against his back while Magnus tries to shoot a small basketball to a hoop, and when they played table hockey he pretended to drop the puck and bent over to pick it up, his ass deliberately in Alec’s direction. When Alec was playing on a pacman machine, Magnus kept caressing his back and shoulders, which never failed to drive him crazy. 

They keep going like that for a while, then head out to the food vendors to find themselves some late lunch. They decide to mix it up, and pick a few different dishes from a variety of vendors - chicken samosas, beef gyoza, pad Thai, gnocchi and two mini burgers. It was a strange mix, but so yummy and fun to eat. And feed each other of course.

Magnus of course kept up his teasing and kept touching playfully, and making satisfied noises while eating. It didn’t come naturally to him, he had never been very good or open like this, especially since he never felt comfortable in his own skin before, let alone with someone else. But with Alec he feels like he can just let go and explore this side of himself. Which turns out, he is really good at, and it is really fun.

When they are done eating, they rent skating shoes and go to the ice rink. Neither of them is really good at it, but they enjoy it anyway. Just skating (more like stumbling) along the large rectangle rink, holding hands, dancing around a bit and laughing. 

  
  


Later, after dinner they make their way to the next town over, where Alec pulls his truck into a large lot, filled with many more parked cars, all facing a large white screen. As Alec backs his truck into a spot in a secluded corner, Magnus almost squeals out of excitement once he realizes where they are. “Oh my god, this is a drive in theater!” he exclaims as he turns to look at his boyfriend in awe.

“Yes it is.” Alec confirms as he puts the car in park and also turns to his boyfriend with a huge smile.

“How…?” Magnus begins, but trails off as he is lost for words. He has been dying to go to one for months already, and couldn’t find one anywhere.

“Well, apparently Edom have these every Sunday, but only for their residents.” Alec explains as he unbuckles his seat-belt and leans over the center console, “and I kinda know a guy, who knows a guy, so...” before he can finish though, Magnus cuts him off with a searing kiss.

“Have I told you yet today that you’re the best boyfriend ever?” Magnus questions when he pulls back, still cupping Alec’s face.

Alec chuckles and nods, “perhaps, but it never hurts to hear again.” then he leans in once more and presses their lips together for another sweet kiss, which escalates into a deeper, more passionate one.

When they finally manage to pull apart, Alec grabs Magnus’ hand and gestures with his head, “come on, let’s get into the back of the truck.” They both exit the truck and while Magnus jumps into the back, Alec gets blankets, snacks and drinks from the back seat, then joins Magnus. 

Alec lays one blanket down and sits on it, leaning against the truck, and when Magnus settles between his legs, leaning back on his chest, Alec wraps them up with the second blanket.

“So what movie are they playing?” Magnus questions, after nestling into his boyfriends strong and comfy chest. 

The larger man chuckles softly and wraps his arms tighter around the smaller man, kisses the top of his head, then replies, “it’s a beautiful life.”

“Oh, I love that movie!” Magnus says happily, then averts his attention to the screen as the opening credits start to roll. But his attention is quickly disrupted by Alec, who starts feeling him up, kissing his shoulder and caressing him with both hands. “Alexander…” he breathes out, because his boyfriend knows exactly how and where to touch, “I can’t concentrate when you...”

As Magnus’ voice trails off, because he is slowly losing that ability along with thinking properly, Alec smiles arrogantly against his skin then says, “yeah, now you know how I felt the whole day with your new found teasing.”

Magnus huffs, “so this is payback?” he manages to ask in a breathy voice.

“I don’t see you suffering.” Alec states with a smirk, his left hand caressing Magnus’ side, while his right hand slowly inched his way down his chest and stomach, “plus, I don’t think I can wait any longer to touch you”

“Alec… we umm… we’re in a public place.” Magnus stammers weakly, but does nothing to prevent Alec’s hand from undoing his pants button and zipper.

“Everyone’s focused on the movie. Plus, we’re in a dark corner, no one can see us.” Alec whispers into his ear as his fingers tease Magnus’ skin along his briefs waistband. “But I can stop if you’d like me to.”

Magnus bites his bottom lip and fights against his usual awkwardness. When he takes too long to respond, Alec starts pulling his hand away, “okay, if you do-” he begins to say, but is cut off by Magnus’ frantic voice.

“No!” he almost yells, then takes a deep breath and a moment to compose himself, then continues to stammer, “I mean, yes… well, no I… don’t stop, please.”

Alec watches him fondly, his hand laying on Magnus’ pelvis, then leans in and whispers in his ear, “what do you want, babe?”

Magnus groans and struggles to say the word, but manages to force them out quietly, “I want you to touch me.”

“As you wish...” Alec says as his fingers caress Magnus’ hip bone, “it’s your birthday after all.” then his fingers breach Magnus’ waistband, causing the older man to gasp and moan as he touches him. “Shhh… we may be secluded, but with how loud you tend to get, people will probably hear.”

Magnus wants to retort, wants to respond, but Alec has magic fingers and they are touching him just right, and all he can do is just whimper and moan. He had never been a big fan of PDA, but something about doing a sexual act in public, was surprisingly turning him on even more.

On another particular loud moan, Alec covers his mouth with his other hand, and oh does that do unexpected things to Magnus. And his boyfriend seems to catch on very quickly, because he then whispers in his ear again, “oh, you like that, don’t you?”

Magnus nods desperately and hums, as Alec continues to touch him with one hand and cover his mouth with the other, muffling out what would surely be a loud scream as he tips off the edge. The smaller man closes his legs, his thighs preventing Alec’s hand from moving further, as he lays shivering and panting on the other man's chest.

Alec pulls his hand out from between his legs and wraps both his arms around him, then kisses the top of his head and temple, “you okay?” he asks quietly.

Magnus nods and hums softly, “yeah, that was… wow.” he manages in a weak, breathy voice, causing Alec to chuckle against his temple then kiss it again.

When enough brain cells are back online, Magnus registers Alec’s hard dick, poking his back. So he lifts himself and spins around, straddling his boyfriend's lap then grabs his face and kisses him roughly. Alec seems a bit surprised, but manages to catch on and kiss back fairly quickly. Magnus blindly reaches down to his boyfriends jeans, and starts unbotting them. He is quickly stopped however, “don’t worry about me, this day is about you.” Alec tells him between kisses.

But Magnus shushes him with more kisses and pushes his hands away, continuing his previous action, “I want to.” he assures, because pleasing Alec is pleasing for him, and there is something about pleasuring him in public which is even hotter than being on the receiving end.

They both moan once Alec’s large, hard cock springs free, and Magnus enjoys the weight and girth of it in his hand, smearing the precum for smoother strokes. His eyes are glued to his hands movement, as the larger man holds him tight and close, moaning and groaning in a low voice.

A few more strokes later, Magnus can no longer stop himself or hold back, and he just bends over, covering himself up under the blanket and wraps his lips around Alec’s tip, sucking it into his mouth, moaning at the taste and feel of it in his mouth. He’d never been much of a blowjob fan (not that he had much experience at it to begin with), but ever since he and Alec started dating, he had developed quite a liking to it. Well, that is putting it mildly. He loves Alec cock, in every way, shape or form. But there is something about having that perfect cock in his mouth, and watching how it took his big, strong boyfriend apart. Doing it in public, is apparently an added bonus.

  
  
  


“So, I’ve got one more thing for you.” Alec announces as they walk back into their dorm room, and start shedding off their many layers of clothing.

Magnus hangs his coat then turns to his boyfriend, “oh Alexander, you’ve already given me so much today, you really -” he begins, but Alec shuts him up with a searing kiss.

When they pull away, Alec pauses for a short moment just to stare at him. He does that sometimes, just looks at him as if he were a piece of art hanging in a prestigious museum. At first it made him feel awkward and shy, but with time he got addicted to it, because it made him feel loved and cherished. 

Once he is done staring, Alec heads over to his bedside table and pulls out a small box, then slowly turns back to Magnus and nervously walks over to him. Magnus looks down at the box then back up at his boyfriend, “you’re not going to propose again, are you?” he questions warily.

Alec chuckles and shakes his head, “no.” he replies, then hands over the box and waits for Magnus to open it. The older man gasps once he opens the little box and finds a black metal ring inside, with a rose gold thin strip along the middle. “But I am going to give you a promise ring.”

Magnus bites his bottom lip and scans the ring for a moment longer, then looks up at Alec and smiles widely, “thank you, I love it.” he says in a quiet voice.

Alec gestures for him to give him the ring, and when he does, the younger man holds up his left hand, but pauses when he finds a ring already on his ring finger, “Magnus!” he complains.

Magnus chuckles and pulls the ring off, throws it on his bed, then gives his hand back to Alec, who slips the ring on. “I love you so much, Mags, and I can’t and don’t want to imagine my life without you.” Alec tells him in a soft voice, standing as close as possible, “I know you’re not ready yet, but one day, as soon as you are, I want to make it official, because you’re the one for me Magnus Bane.”

Somewhere along the way, a few tears welled up in Magnus’ eyes, and as he sniffles, Alec wipes them away with his thumbs. He then leans up and presses his lips to Alec’s, when he pulls back slightly, he whispers back, “You’re the one for me too, Alexander Gideon Lightwood.”


	7. a Christmas gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec takes Magnus to his family for Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, it has been a while... 
> 
> sorry for the neglect, but I am back now, and I have so many great ideas for this story, and hopefully you enjoy them! 
> 
> I would like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all of the AMAZING responses to this story, they all just completely blew me away, and it just means so so much to me, so THANK YOU!!!
> 
> I have been struggling with this chapter for quite a while now, and I have been contemplating whether I should scrap it and start over or not, but I have decided to just leave it and post it so I can move on to the rest of the chapters, and hopefully you don't hate it... life without a beta can be rough sometimes...
> 
> WARNINGS: SMUT AND TALK OF STRAP-ON'S.
> 
> anyway, without further ado... chapter 7!!!

“Mags, babe, I think we’ve already bought enough gifts.” Alec tries to reason with his boyfriend, but to no avail. The smaller man was determined to complete some kind of mission he had built up in his head.

“Alexander, this is my first Christmas with your family.” Magnus states matter-of-factly, barely glancing at his boyfriend as he walks into yet another shop, “and it has to be perfect.”

Alec transfers all the bags he is holding into one hand, and grabs Magnus’ arm with his other hand, forcing him to stop and face him. “Mags, you’ve already met them all and they absolutely adore you.” he says softly with a smile, “I’m pretty sure my mother loves you more than she does me.”

Magnus pouts adorably as he glances longingly at the sales, then back up at his boyfriend, “but -” he tries, but Alec cuts him off.

“No buts.” he smirks.

So Magnus shrugs then concedes, “fine, I guess we did actually get all the gifts we needed.” although he did enjoy the shopping very much.

“Come on, let’s go back and start wrapping these up.” Alec wraps Magnus up in his arms and kisses his temple, then they walk out of the shop and towards the exit of the mall. 

But when Magnus spots a certain shop hidden behind a red velvet curtain, he stops in his tracks and looks up at his boyfriend who also looks at him, confused. Magnus blushes and points shyly across the mall hallway, “remember that time, when you umm… you know, said we could try a… ummm…” he stammers, trying to force out the words.

Alec follows his line of vision, also catching sight of the store, then back at his boyfriend with a knowing smirk, “A strap on?” he finally completes, and Magnus just bites his bottom lip and nods. He has been thinking about it ever since Alec brought it up, and had no idea how to bring it up again. “Come on, let’s go have a look.”

Next thing he knows, Alec is pulling him towards the shop, and then through the curtains. It is a huge store, filled with rows of shelves filled with so many sex toys, some of which Magnus never even heard of. “Welcome to Sex Style, how may I help you?” the shop clerk greets them unabashedly.

Magnus’ blush turns even more impossibly crimson, as Alec just naturally smiles and casually asks, “yeah, where are your strap on’s?” 

The clerk points towards the back of the shop, “would you like me to come show you?” he asks, clearly unfazed by any of it. Thankfully Alec declines the offer and the two make their way down one of the aisles towards the back shelves. They have strap-on’s in all colours and sizes, it almost makes Magnus dizzy. “So, does anything catch your eye?” Alec asks, as he wraps his arms around him from behind and kisses his shoulder. 

Magnus gives himself another moment to scan the shelves, then finally catches one that sticks out. He leans forward and Alec lets go so he can take the strap-on off the shelf, “how about this one?” he asks, eyeing the purple strap-on inside the plastic box. When he doesn’t get a response, Magnus turns to his boyfriend and finds him glaring at the strap-on as if it had personally offended him. “What’s wrong, darling?”

“Not that one.” Alec decides stubbornly, not supplying any further explanation.

“What, why?” Magnus asks, sounding offended for the strap-on. He looks down at it then back up at Alec with wide, puppy eyes, “but it’s purple.” he states as if that was all that matters, “and it’s nice and… ohhhh!” Magnus suddenly understands, then bursts out laughing.

“This is not funny.” Alec snaps, then folds his arms.

“Come on, it’s not that much bigger.” Magnus says once he manages to calm down from his laughter. “And we both know that you are very…  _ proportionate _ , and know exactly how to satisfy me.” he adds, in a further attempt to calm his boyfriend.

“I guess so.” Alec finally concedes with a sigh, but still doesn’t look completely convinced.

“Think how great it would feel when I fuck you with this. Or is it too big for you?” and that has Alec completely dumbfounded. Even Magnus has no idea where that came from.

“I’m sorry, who are you and what have you done with my sweet, innocent boyfriend?” the taller man questions with wide eyes, raising his brows.

Magnus chuckles then pecks his boyfriends plush lips, “I’ve learnt from the best.” he states in lieu of an answer, causing Alec to also chuckle.

“If you really wanna get it, we can.” Alec tells him.

“Nah… I already found one online that I really like.” Magnus tells him sheepishly.

“Oh?” and Magnus just bites his bottom lips and feigns innocence.

~~~

A few days later, Magnus and Alec drive up to Vermont to meet Alec’s family at their holiday cabin. They arrive late afternoon, and are greeted by Max, Maryse and Luke who have been there since the night before. Clary and Jace have yet to arrive, but Izzy and Simon were already in their room settling in.

“Alec!” Max basically screams in enthusiasm as he throws himself into his brother’s arms with abandon. Alec laughs and catches him easily, while his mother heads over to Magnus with her arms already spread to the sides.

“Oh, Magnus, my dear, so good to see you!” Maryse exclaims as she embraces him tightly, and Magnus melts into it immediately. Even when he lived with his parents they never held him like this, and from the first moment they met, Maryse could just sense his deprivation and would shower him with the unconditional maternal love he so craved.

“It is great to see you too, I’ve missed you.” Magnus says sweetly as they pull back, and she cups his face to examine him. Behind them, Luke also greets Alec, then they start unloading their bags from the car.

“I’ve missed you too, sweetheart.” That is when Alec clears his throat, as if in irritation, but when Magnus looks over at him, he has a warm smile on his face.

“I’m here too you know.” he complains, and Maryse rolls her eyes as she walks over to him and embraces him as well. After that Luke and Alec grab their suitcases while Magnus carries the bags with all the gifts.

When they walk into the cabin, Maryse leads Magnus to their Christmas tree, “why don’t you put the gifts under the tree?” She suggests in a manner that leaves no room for argument, and Magnus takes all the meticulously wrapped gifts out of the bags and stacks them up besides the ones already there. He keeps only one of the gifts he got for Alec inside of the bag, with the intention to take it up to their room so he can give it to him in private.

“Why don’t you put that one as well?” Maryse questions, and Magnus instinctively hugs it close to his chest.

“It’s for Alec.” he tells her with a shy smile.

“No need to be so shy, I’m sure Alec would love to have it under the tree with the rest.” Magnus tries to resist, because he really did not want Alec opening it up in front of his family, but Maryse is so persistent and he just can’t say no to her, so he concedes and does as she says. 

He will retrieve it later.

~~~

Later that evening, after Clary and Jace arrive and they’re all settled in, they all lend a hand to prepare for their special Christmas meal. Magnus has spent weekends and a few different occasions with the Lightwoods since Alec and him started dating, and even a few times before - but never Christmas. And he finds himself just watching in awe for a few minutes, as Clary, Simon and Izzy start to set the table, Luke and Alec help his mother in the kitchen, with Max standing on a stool, wearing a cute, tiny apron and helping with small, simple chores.

And of course Alec quickly notices him standing off to the side, they share a short moment of just exchanging smiles and glances, and Magnus absentmindedly finds himself fiddling with his promise ring. 

Then Alec gestures him over, so Magnus complies and walks straight into his open arms like a magnet. Alec pulls him in close and kisses his temple, then whispers into his ear, “everything okay, Babe?”

Magnus hums in contentment, then nods and looks up at him “yes, amazing.” he looks around again at the happy, large family all chattering, laughing and enjoying their time together. “Your family is great, this is great.”

“They’re your family too now.” Alec’s words have him biting on his bottom lip and fighting back tears of joy, because he is so overwhelmingly happy. 

When they’re all done and ready, the family gathers around the table, which is covered with a gorgeous tablecloth that has snowflakes on it. The table is set with beautiful forest green plates, with splashes of gold and red, and matching cups. A huge array of dishes and drinks are spread across the large table in a beautiful variety of colours, flavours and smells.

Alec pulls out a chair for him, the one to the right of Maryse who is sitting at one end of the table. “Thank you.” Magnus smiles at his gentleman boyfriend, then sits as Alec takes the seat next to him. When they’re all settled in, Magnus turns to Maryse, “this is truly wonderful, thank you.” he says in a sweet, quiet voice so only she, and probably Alec, can hear.

Maryse smiles warmly and caresses his cheek, in such a motherly act, and Magnus’ hearts swells impossibly more. “You are so welcome, sweetheart, it is my pleasure.”

After that they all start digging into the food, and banter, chit-chat and laughter fill the room, as they take turns to reminisce and bring up different childhood memories and stories. 

After dinner, the three older siblings and their significant others stay up late and drink wine, talking about serious life matters, and also fun and embarrassing, crazy, and sexual stories they wouldn’t have told in front of Maryse, Luke and Max.

Magnus has been leaning against Alec the whole time, both of them curled up under a fluffy blanket on the love-seat. And the smaller man cannot digest that this is actually his life now, that he has gotten so lucky. He remains mostly silent throughout the conversations, but even so, he has never felt so completely part of a family as he does now.

~~~

By the time Magnus and Alec make it back to their room, it is well past midnight, and they make quick work at getting ready for bed. Magnus is laying in bed on top of the blanket, leaning against the headboard, when Alec comes out of the bathroom with just his brief. He pauses a moment near the foot of the bed and eyes Magnus, “why are you over dressed?” he questions, as he glares at Magnus’ pajamas as if they had personally offended him.

Magnus looks down at his pajamas then back up at Alec with a chuckle, “I’m just wearing pajamas, we’re going to sleep.”

Alec arches an eyebrow and slowly takes one step closer, closing the distance to the foot of the bed, “are we now?” he then grabs hold of Magnus’ ankles and yanks him closer. The smaller man yelps as he is dragged down onto his back, and a second later, the larger man is covering him with his muscular body.

“Take them off.” Alec demands, then teases his lips with his tongue, “now.”

As Alec starts to grab onto the waistband of his pajama pants, Magnus starts to protest and tries to shove his hands away, “Alexander, no, we can’t.” he reprimands in a hushed tone, causing Alec to frown and pout.

“What? Why?” the younger man asks.

Magnus laughs incredulously, and also a bit fondly, “Because your mother is sleeping just down the hall, and your siblings too.” Magnus explains, trying to push Alec off of him, but the other man won’t allow it, “they will hear us.”

“So, what? I can’t have sex with my boyfriend now?” Alec complains, clearly un-appeased with the idea.

“Well, you know how loud we can get.” Alec smirks at that and leans forward to peck him.

“You mean how loud you can get?” Magnus playfully slaps his arms, but Alec doesn’t budge as he just goes on, “you got me used to getting some every night...”

“And you can go one night without.” Magnus smiles in amusement, “plus, we did have that…  _ stop  _ on the way up here.”

“And it was very hot, and amazing.” Alec agree’s, then adds with a pout, “but it was also hours ago.”

“Oh my god, I have created a monster!” Magnus laughs out, half amused and half exasperated. 

“At least you know it’s your fault.” When Alec smiles down at him in pride, he slaps his chest, then pushes against him, and this time Alec rolls off of him. “I don’t like this.” Alec complains, but still concedes as they both get under the blanket, then he leans over and turns off the bedside lamp. 

“It’s just a few days, you’ll manage.” Magnus pecks his cheek and chuckles when Alec groans loudly.

“Days?” Alec complains, “this is worse than torture, I hope you know that.”

Magnus snorts at that, “aren’t I supposed to be the dramatic one?” Alec just huffs in mock annoyance, but nonetheless scoots closer and embraces his boyfriend, pulling him into his chest, and Magnus goes willingly, falling asleep soon after, filled with content.

  
  


When his eyes flutter open next, it is still pitch dark in the room. As his foggy, sleepy brain starts to register, he realizes what has woken him. Or rather, who. His boyfriend's strong arms are wrapped around Magnus from behind, and his chest is plastered along his back. But what actually causes him to fight through the haze is the hardness that is rubbing up against his ass, and the wet sloppy kisses pressed and scattered on his neck and nape.

“Mags, babe...” by now, Magnus recognizes well his boyfriend’s horny voice, and it is very much prominent in just those two words, and when he adds, “wake up, I want you.”

Magnus peeks at the clock on the bedside table and huffs, “Alec, it is 3am.” he whines, which quickly turns into a moan, because Alec knows exactly where and how to kiss him to get him on board.

Alec grins into his skin in triumph, as he continues to kiss down to his shoulder, grabbing the collar of his shirt and stretching it to reveal more skin he can devour. “I want you, so bad.” he murmurs in between kisses, “and I can’t sleep with this hard on.” to emphasize his words, he grinds said hard on into Magnus’ ass again.

As the grinding continues, Magnus can’t help but moan softly, but quickly covers his mouth with his hand, “Alexander, we can’t.” he tries to pull away, but his boyfriends grip doesn’t budge. “Seriously, your family will hear.”

“It’s the middle of the night, they are sleeping.” Alec tries to reason.

“Well, I still feel awkward.” Magnus tries to get away again, but still to no avail, “can’t you just wait until we get back?”

“That’s in like… forever.” Alec complains, causing Magnus to roll his eyes, “besides, I’m super horny right now and it’s your fault.”

“How is it my fault?” Magnus questions incredulously.

“You wouldn’t let me fuck you before we went to sleep.” Alec says bluntly, all the while continuing to grind against him and scatter more kisses between words, “plus, you’re so damn sexy, I can’t help myself.”

“Alexander...” Magnus half moans, half whines.

“Don’t tell me you don’t want to.” Alec warns, his hand making its way from the smaller man's hip to the waistband of his silk pajama pants, teasing the skin there, “because I know you do.”

When Magnus’ only response is more moaning and a shudder, Alec dips his finger under the waistband and moves it from one side to the other. Magnus doesn’t protest, just mewls again, so Alec sends his whole hand in and slowly makes its way under his briefs as well.

“Alec, no, we can’t...” Magnus finally manages in a breathless tone, but with no conviction in his voice, causing Alec to chuckle.

Alec’s fingers inside his briefs are gently caressing the skin of his lips, “So, if I dip my finger between those gorgeous lips, it will come out dry?” a small, broken whimper escapes from deep inside Magnus.

“Alexander, please...” he pleads, not knowing what he is asking for exactly.

“You know,” Alec continues, in a low, sultry tone, “we should probably get you a gag for next time, if you’re so worried about making noise.” when Magnus whimpers again at that, and bucks his hips forward, trying to get more friction from Alec's fingers, the younger man adds, “oh, you like that idea don’t you?”

“Alexander I...”

Alec kisses him against his temple, “What do you want, babe?” he questions into his skin.

“Touch me, please.” Magnus pleads, the Lightwood’s down the hall long forgotten.

“As you wish, my love.” then Alec finally dips his finger between Magnus’ lips, and sure enough, “fuck, you’re so wet. So wet for me, I knew it.” 

Alec continues to rub him just right, and grind into his ass, making Magnus even more desperate, “Alec please, I want you.” he pleads.

“You have me, I’m right here.” Alec responds with a satisfied smile.

Magnus whines again, but in annoyance, “Alec...”

“What do you want, Mags?” Alec whispers into his ear, “tell me, I want to hear it.”

Magnus releases a few shaky breaths as Alec continues to circle two fingers, in a slow motion, “I want you inside me.” he finally manages, his voice barely above a whisper.

“But what about the noise?” Alec questions teasingly, kissing behind his ear, “my mother is sleeping just down the hall, you know.”

“You can cover my mouth with your hand.” Magnus snaps impatiently, but his voice is so raspy and shaky, it looses its heat, “just fuck me already.”

A shit-eating grin appears on Alec’s face, “If you insist.” he says nonchalantly, but then eagerly pulls his hand out of Magnus pants (earning a protesting whine), then pulls them down just enough to reveal Magnus’ perfect small, round ass. He then pulls his own briefs down and manages to quickly kick them off, then positions himself, still spooning Magnus from behind, and slowly pushes in.

Alec covers Magnus’ mouth with his hand that's under him, just as a loud moan escapes it. He groans into the smaller man’s ear as his wet walls envelop him so deliciously and he is fully seated inside him. “Fuck, you feel so good.” Alec praises, and his boyfriend lets out more mewls which are muffled by his hand, “so good for me.”

Then Alec pulls his hips back, and after a short pause, he slowly pushes back in, and then repeats the move again. He starts a slow, sensual rhythm that has them both hot, bothered and panting messes. And as his thrusts grow harder, Alec reaches down between Magnus’ legs, and starts circling his fingers again against the soft, wet skin.

Magnus is completely lost and enveloped by the pleasure, his whole body basically vibrating in pure bliss. Even his brain - which is usually working overtime, is completely shut off - either lost in the thrill or still in the haze of sleep.

The pace of Alec’s thrusts remains unhurried, but still hard, deep and sensuous, which drives Magnus absolutely crazy, and he is glad Alec is still muffling his screams with his hands, especially when he takes a free-fall over the edge, only distantly aware of the encouragements his boyfriend is whispering into his ear.

Only once before had Magnus actually squirted during an orgasm, which was the first time he ever had as well. The only reason it didn’t happen more often, is because Magnus has a hard time completely letting go, even when the sex is mind-blowing (which is basically always), at least a little part of his mind is overthinking, which is not enough to prevent a blissful orgasm, but is enough to keep him from crossing that squirting line.

But similar to the previous time it happened, Magnus is so far gone that he isn’t thinking at all, probably because his brain is still half asleep - as it is 3am.

When he comes down from his high and regains a bit of coherence, he looks down between his legs, then over his shoulder at Alec, who has another proud grin on his face. “Shit, that was so hot.” Alec exclaims, then leans in to kiss his cheeks. 

Magnus was so gone, that he hadn’t even noticed Alec cumming inside him, or when he pulled out of him. “I made such a mess...” Magnus murmurs, his mind still foggy, and his whole body still pleasantly humming.

“Yeah, you did.” Alec sounds pleased, as he pushes Magnus onto his back, “I should wake you up in the middle of the night more often.” he doesn’t even wait for a response before he dives under the blanket, catching Magnus completely off guard as his face finds its way between his legs. The smaller man then yelps and almost jumps out of his skin when he feels a hot, wet tongue licking him up, which quickly has him moaning again. Then Alec’s whole mouth is on him, sucking as his tongue continues to lick him just right.

Before he knows or even understands what’s going on, he finds himself falling off the edge again. It is less intense, but nonetheless blissful, sending more waves of electricity through his body.

When Alec comes out from under the blanket, he immediately crawls on top of him, covering Magnus’ body with his own. Then he captures his lips in a searing kiss, allowing the older man to taste himself in his mouth. But he is in too deep to even care.

~~~

The next day (or rather, later in the morning) Magnus and Alec make their way down to the living room, where the rest of the Lightwood clan are already gathered. The large coffee table is filled with delicious looking breakfast, juices and coffee. 

“Finally!” Max exclaims loudly, as the two make their way towards the vacant love-seat, “I wanna open my gifts and mom said I can’t before you came.”

“Maxwell, don’t be rude.” maryse reprimands, but with an amused smile on her lips, “good morning boys, come on, dig in.”

They all exchange light chatter as they eat and drink, and to Max’s dismay, wait until they’re done eating to open the gifts under the tree. Which is also when Magnus comes to the horrifying realization that he has yet to remove his gift for Alec from the pile of gifts. He tries to calm his panic so no one will see, but fails miserably. Luckily, everyone is too busy opening up gifts. But they are doing it one by one, so that gives him a few extra minutes.

“Are you okay, babe?” Alec whispers into his ear, and of course he noticed, he always noticed every tiny change.

Magnus gulps and shakes his head, causing his boyfriend to cup his face and look into his eyes with concern, “what is it?”

“Your gift...” Magnus whispers back in a frantic voice, “your mother put it in the pile, but -”

“Hey, love birds!” Jace calls loudly, cutting off Magnus’ words, “stop being mushy, it’s your turn.” Alec just rolls his eyes at him, then turns back to his scared looking boyfriend.

“What about my gift?” he questions softly, but apparently not quiet enough, because Max then responds before Magnus can.

“You’ve got two from Magnus!” he announces in excitement, holding both up, “they’re right here.”

Alec smiles at his boyfriend in a clear attempt to calm his nerves, which are growing by the minute, “are you worried I won’t like them?”

“You can’t open it.” Magnus hisses quietly, “not here, please.”

“Magnus what’s going on?” Magnus wants to just scream in frustration, because he can’t just say it out loud, even if he whispers, someone might hear. And he also can’t just grab the gift and refuse to open it, or run away with it. That is just rude, and frankly he is also too stunned to actually move right now.

“Fine, I’ll open it then.” Max doesn’t even wait a beat before ripping open the wrapping on one of the gifts, and of course it is the one Magnus did not want to be opened in this forum.

“No!” Magnus yells loudly, causing all eyes to snap to him.

But it is already too late, “is it a toy?” Max questions innocently, as he watches the boxed strap-on in his hands curiously. 

Magnus quickly buries his crimson face in Alec’s chest, as everyone around them bursts out laughing. Perhaps one day he too will find it funny, but at the moment, Magnus wishes the ground would swallow him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo.... what do you think? I wasn't sure about this chapter... it was just supposed to be a sort of stepping stone for chapter 8, but then I really loved the idea of a Lightwood Christmas, so I tried to include them a bit more, but I just can't shake the feeling that I just didn't hit the mark enough, I dunno.

**Author's Note:**

> okay, so how was it?  
> please let me know your thoughts!
> 
> please come follow me on my new Instagram account: [mblwrites](https://www.instagram.com/mblwrites/?hl=en)
> 
> and on [tumblr](https://mblwrites.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I started a blog!! and it would mean the world to me if you came to check it out! you can do so, right here - [MBL writes](https://mblwrites.com/)


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